Howard: I just have a question. Does Bernadette ever talk about me?
Penny: Oh, absolutely.
Howard: She does?
Penny: Yeah, sure. Just yesterday, she asked, why is Howard hiding under the table?
Howard: She saw that, huh?
Penny: Oh, no, not at first. Right after I pointed it out.

Penny: Hey, while we're on the subject, why did you guys break up anyway?
Howard: Oh, I'd rather not say.
Penny: Howard, if you want my help, I've got to know what happened.
Howard: But it's embarrassing.
Penny: Yeah, that's what I'm counting on.

Howard: Well, you know World of Warcraft?
Penny: Um, the online game? Sure.
Howard: Well, did you know that the characters in the game can have sex with each other?
Penny: Oh, God. I think I see where this is going.
Howard: Her name was Glacinda the Troll. Bernadette walked in on me while we were doing the cyber-nasty under the Bridge of Souls.
Penny: Oh, you're right. That is so embarrassing.
Howard: Would you talk to her?
Penny: Bernadette or the troll?

Penny: Hey, this is a little awkward, but my manager says I can't actually give nachos away. So, just take that [bill] when you're ready.

Leonard: No, no, I-I'm serious. If there's things we want to do, let's start doing them.
Penny: Okay. Well, we've never been on a big trip together.
Leonard: I would love that.
Penny: Okay, there's something for your letter: "Considered going on a trip."

Penny: So, are we celebrating anything special tonight?
Amy: Oh, yes. Our relationship agreement specifies that the second Thursday of every month, or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays, is date night.
Penny: That is so hot.

Penny: Hey, if Halley can't reach the liquor cabinet. why did you baby-proof it?
Howard: How did you know we did?
Penny: Fair point.

Stuart: Bernadette still going stir-crazy?
Howard: Oh, a little. Two months of bed rest, it's kind of rough.
Raj: Really? That sounds great. How do I get that?
Leonard: You'd either have to break your hip or let Howard knock you up.
Penny: Now, either way, you'll get flowers the next morning.

Penny: Fine, I'll do it. But do me a favor and unlock the liquor cabinet first.

Sheldon: I believe the condensation on your frozen foods weakened the structural integrity of the bag. But returning to your key conundrum, perhaps you should call a locksmith and have him open the door for you.
Penny: I did, and he said he'll get here when he gets here.
Sheldon: And you're frustrated because he phrased his reply in the form of a meaningless tautology?
Penny: No! I am frustrated because I am a failure at everything and my breath smells like fly.

Leonard: Listen, Penny.
Penny: Uh, Queen Penelope AFK. What?
Leonard: Okay, um, here's the thing, um, sometimes people, good people, you know, they start playing these games and they find themselves through no fault of their own, you know, kind of, addicted.
Penny: Yeah, get to the point, I'm about to level up here.
Leonard: Well, i-i-it's just if a person doesn't have a sense of achievement in their real life it's easy to lose themselves in a virtual world where they get a false sense of accomplishment.
Penny: Yeah, jabber jabber jabber, okay boys, Queen Penelope's back online.

Sheldon: So listen, would you describe your ideal vacation as a wild adventure to unknown lands, or staying at home curled up with a good book?
Penny: What?
Sheldon: These are market research questions. I'm filling out the online registration for your game.
Penny: Oh, okay, wild adventure.

Penny: No, no, you guys do your experiments. I'll go pick up dinner.
Leonard: Are you sure?
Penny: Yeah, you're having science fun, and I don't want to interfere, or watch you.

Sheldon: And then I was thinking about inventing a new dark matter particle to evade the omega baryon constraints, but that just seems like something anyone could come up with.
Penny: Mm. Agreed. You know what's blowing my mind? Somebody thought about putting cheese in this crust.

Sheldon: I just wish I could find something that excites me.
Penny: You do understand that crust doesn't normally come with cheese in it?