Penny Quotes Page 7 of 75

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Quote from the episode The Intimacy Acceleration

Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Sheldon: I don't think I can go back out there.
Penny: That's fine. You know, I hate that your sister and her friends used to torture you. But what I hate even more is, if I was there, I would have tortured you, too.
Sheldon: Based on this pep talk, I'd say you're still doing it.
Penny: My point is, there was a time I never would've been friends with someone like you, and now you are one of my favorite people. So, if what you need is to spend your birthday in a bathroom, I'm happy to do it with you.
Sheldon: Well, everyone will think I'm weird.
Penny: Sweetie, you are weird. Everyone knows you're weird, but they're all still here because they care about you so much.

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: I don't know what the protocol is here. Do I stay, do I leave? Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?
Penny: Gee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the other side of the tie.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: Is this the stuff you want me to try on?
Penny: No this is the stuff I want you to throw out. Seriously, don't even give it to charity. You won't be helping anyone.

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Penny: Not really a great outfit for work. Unless something opens up in the Hookers & Whores department.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Raj: Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home.
Penny: Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out?

Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Sheldon: Did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Amy: You went to seven proms?
Penny: Yeah. Let's see, four "under the seas", two "enchanted evenings", and one night to remember - that I can not remember for the life of me.

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Penny: Hey, since when do you do laundry on a Thursday?
Sheldon: Oh, I had an accident at work, I slipped and fell on my soup sack.
Penny: You know, there was a time I would say "What's a soup sack?" But I'm glad we're past that.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Sheldon: Just the latest copy of Applied Particle Physics Quarterly.
Penny: Oh, you know, that is so weird that yours came and mine didn't.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Wolowitz: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Penny: Oh, my God, you’re about to jibber jabber about jibber jabber.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Penny: We can't keep explaining everything. Read that book we gave you.

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Penny: I love him, but if he's broken, let's not get a new one.

Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction

Penny: You keep him there a little longer, and when you get to the party, I'll point out which of my friends are easy.
Howard: Don't toy with me, woman.
Penny: I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem. I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around, and an alcoholic who's 2 tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Howard: Thy will be done.

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