Penny: I think I caught the flu. *Throwing up*. Or the plague!

Leonard: A long time ago, I made a deal with Howard involving you.
Penny: Okay, I don't know where this is going, but tread carefully, because this may be the last conversation we ever have.

Penny: What up, Shel-bot?

Leonard: Is this the stuff you want me to try on?
Penny: No this is the stuff I want you to throw out. Seriously, don't even give it to charity. You won't be helping anyone.

Sheldon: Did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Amy: You wouldn't be dating Penny.
Leonard: You don't know that. I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years. I could have picked her up.
*Everybody laughs*
Penny: Oh, you weren't joking?

Bernadette: Well, while they're acting like teenagers we could do something grown up.
Amy: Ooh, you mean like a museum?
Penny: Yes, like a museum but anything else!

Penny: And this is also not the right time. Do not propose.
Leonard: What?!
Penny: I know that face. That's your proposed face.

Penny: Hang on. You guys are going to work in a mine?
Sheldon: Why not?
Penny: You had a panic attack when we went through the car wash!

Amy: You went to seven proms?
Penny: Yeah. Let's see, four "under the seas", two "enchanted evenings", and one night to remember - that I can not remember for the life of me.

Amy: Don't be like that. You two need to talk this out.
Penny: Yeah, because you sound really funny.

Dan: Well one thing I've been meaning to tell you, is that the company's gonna stop paying for our coffee.
Bernadette: No problem. When does that start?
Dan: Five months ago.
Bernadette: What? Who's been paying for my coffee.
Dan: All of us.
Penny: Yep, it comes from the swear jar we put money in when you curse.

Penny: Not really a great outfit for work. Unless something opens up in the Hookers & Whores department.

Amy: Okay, that's enough.
Penny: What, no. I really want to know what happens. And Bernadette really, really, really wants to know what happens.

Sheldon: I don't know what the protocol is here. Do I stay, do I leave? Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?
Penny: Gee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the other side of the tie.