Penny: I'm sorry, shoes, but you have to go back.
Shoebox (Penny): But, Penny, we love you.
Penny: I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent.
Shoebox (Penny): But Penny, you look so good in us.
Penny: (To Amy) Damn it, the shoes are right!

Sheldon: This is banana bread.
Penny: This is a door knob.

Penny: I'm a vegetarian, except for fish, and the occasional steak. I LOVE steak!
Sheldon: Well, that's interesting. Leonard can't process corn.

Penny: Really still can't talk to me?

Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Penny: Yeah, it was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. It felt pretty good.

Penny: What's up, buttercup?

Sheldon: And then you put it back, compromising the rest of the onion rings.
Penny: Aw honey, the buses don't go where you live do they?

Penny: Damn you, you rat bastard! In the olden days, I never would have known he was that stupid.

Leonard: Did you hear about Howard and Bernadette?
Penny: Of course I heard about it, how did you hear about it?
Leonard: I heard it from Sheldon, he got it from Amy.
Penny: Damn it! I told Amy that in the strictest of confidence. Boy some people are such blabbermouths. Well whatever, I'm sure Bernadette can do better.
Leonard: Do you think a sexually ambivalent Indian astrophysicist with selected mutism and alcohol issues is better than a 100lb Jewish guy who lives with his mom?
Penny: You are kidding! Raj likes Bernadette?
Leonard: I didn't say Raj, who said Raj?
Penny: Okay give, how do you know? Did he tell you?
Leonard: No
Penny: Well then who?
Leonard: I can't say
Penny: Priya told you, oh what a little gossip. Ya know, not an attractive quality in a woman Leonard. Not judging, just my opinion.
Leonard: Well the point is if this got out it would destroy Howard and Raj's friendship.
Penny: You don't have to worry, unlike Amy and Priya, I know how to keep a secret.
Leonard: You're the one who told Amy in the first place.
Penny: In confidence.

Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is 'popular'.

Penny: I'm a little low on cash.
Leonard: How much you got?
Penny: Nothing.
Leonard: How can you walk around with no money?
Penny: I'm cute, I get by.

Bernadette: Oh, I don't know. I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for.

Penny: You know, I remember my first bikini wax. My sister did it with duct tape and melted Crayolas. To this day, I can't look at a box of crayons without crossing my legs.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Did you know the iconic heart shape isn't based on an actual human heart, its based on what a woman's rear end looks like bending over
Penny: So in 8th grade, I was dotting my i's with little asses? That's cool.

Penny: Hey, guys! My friends and I got tired of dancing so we came over to have sex with you.
(The guys continue to play Halo).
Penny: Told ya.
(Penny and her friends leave).
Sheldon: Why did you hit pause?
Leonard: I thought I heard something.
Rajesh: What?
Leonard: No, never mind.