Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 2 of 55

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Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Ah, that was fun. Put her there, buddy.
Ruchi: I am not fist bumping you after we have sex.
Raj: You're the one who wanted to keep things casual.
Ruchi: There's a difference between casual and weird.
Raj: Not the way I do it.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: So it turns out Ruchi is totally trying to take over Bernadette's projects.
Penny: Wow, she just told you that out of the blue?
Raj: Yeah, yeah, we had just made love. It was so beautiful. Our caramel-colored bodies were entwined like erotic taffy-
Penny: Get to the point!

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Uh, sorry, uh, yeah. I asked her about work, and she just admitted she has her eyes on Bernadette's projects.
Penny: Can't believe she would take advantage of a pregnant lady like that. So what did you do?
Raj: What do you think I did? I made small talk for 20 minutes and had sex again.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Raj: Everything okay?
Bernadette: Yeah, there's just something I need to ask you.
Raj: (gasps) Oh, Bernie, I'd be thrilled.
Bernadette: It's not be my birth coach.
Raj: Okay, that hurts, but luckily I know how to breathe through it.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Bernadette: I need you to find out if Ruchi's trying to steal my projects at work while I'm on bed rest.
Raj: She's not that kind of a person. She's-she's generous and charitable.
Bernadette: You're just saying that 'cause she's sleeping with you.
Raj: Yes, that's my favorite charity.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Bernadette: I know I sound paranoid, but I'm feeling really vulnerable. If there's anything you could find out, it'd be great.
Raj: And if she is up to anything, what are you gonna do?
Bernadette: Nothing. I'll just calmly talk to her and explain there are certain boundaries that need to be respected. It's really for the benefit of everyone at the company.
Raj: Uh, okay, what you're saying sounds nice, but the way you're saying it is causing my testicles to take cover in my abdomen.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Bernadette: I really appreciate the thought, but it's not necessary. I'll be back soon.
Ruchi: Don't worry about work. You take all the time you need.
Raj: Yeah, just turn off your brain and let your uterus do its magic. It's the star of the show now.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Leonard: Edison was kind of a publicity hog and a bully.
Raj: Yeah, he electrocuted an elephant named Topsy just to make himself famous. If I had an elephant named Topsy, he would want for nothing. Also, he'd be named Jumbo.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Raj: They asked me what my biggest weakness was, and 45 minutes later, they thanked me for coming.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Raj: Howard doesn't mean anything by it. I think it's cultural. His people come from a very sarcastic village called Brooklyn.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: What is there to get? She doesn't want to fall in love. At that point, all we are is two single people who find each other attractive and enjoy having-- Oh, got to go!

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: Come on, you don't believe that everyone has one perfect match?
Ruchi: Of course not. That's ridiculous. I mean, what if your soul mate lived halfway across the world? You'd never meet.
Raj: Yes, you would. I can give you, like, 20 examples where that happened to Kate Hudson alone.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: Are you saying that you don't believe two people fall in love?
Ruchi: Of course they do. It's just that what people call "love" is actually a series of biochemical reactions in the brain that fade over time.
Raj: Yes. Like the old song, "When a man has a biochemical reaction for a woman."

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Raj: Love isn't just science. Okay? It's-it's spiritual. It's an acknowledgment of a mystery that's greater than ourselves. It's what makes people write songs and poems, and what has kept The Bachelor on TV for 21 magical seasons.
Ruchi: Don't you think the fact that love is given away as a prize on a game show slightly undermines your argument?
Raj: Uh, yes. But I've never missed an episode, and I dare science to explain that.

Quote from the episode The Geology Methodology

Ruchi: Are you sure you're okay with this?
Raj: Honestly, Ruchi, I don't have a lot of experience with casual relationships. I have some experience with serious relationships and a ton of experience with no relationships.

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