Raj: Guys, I need your help, okay? I'm trying to buy her engagement ring. What do you think of this? Do you think she'll like this one?
Bernadette: Well, it's hard to say, not knowing much about her. Does she have fingers?
Raj: Yes, she has ten fingers and ten toes. Probably. I'll get back to you after I see her in sandals.

Howard: I wonder what Tam could have done.
Raj: Hmm. Well, if Sheldon doesn't want to talk about it, it's got to be pretty upsetting.
Howard: I have his brother George's number, he might know.
Leonard: Really? You have George's number?
Raj: So so jealous!

Tam: So, is he here?
Leonard: Uh, no. He didn't come. He's, uh, he's still pretty upset about ... you know.
Tam: I know what?
Leonard: Come on, you-you must know.
Tam: No, we haven't talked in, like, 20 years.
Howard: Right. Because ... you know.
Raj: I don't think he knows.
Tam: What are you guys talking about?
Leonard: Why did you and Sheldon stop being friends? What did you do?
Raj: And don't worry, even though we just met you, we think you're right and he's wrong.

Tam: Sheldon! So good to see you!
Sheldon: Tam.
Tam: It's been a long time.
Sheldon: Mm, not long enough to erase the sting of betrayal.
Tam: How did I betray you?
Sheldon: You know what you did.
Raj: Uh, let me catch you up. He does not.

Sheldon: Oh, Inspector Gadget. And I want to say Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Raj: So close. Kooth Bader Ginsburg. The Notorious KBG.
Sheldon: That's very clever.
Raj: [striking a gavel] Sustained.

Raj: Oh, this is amazing. I wish I had a playhouse like this when I was a kid.
Penny: Really? You never had a playhouse?
Raj: No. I mean, my dad did buy the house next door for us to play in.

Leonard: Well, Siebert put me in charge of handing out the last bit of the administrative funds, and I have sole discretion.
Raj: Ooh! Looks like Christmas came early. First thing on my list is a golden umbrella, 'cause Leonard's gonna make it rain!

Sheldon: Can I feed peanuts to the elephants at your wedding?
Raj: That is such a stereotype!
Sheldon: There won't be any elephants?
Raj: Of course there'll be elephants. It's a stereotype that you feed them peanuts.

Anu: Sorry, I had to use the facilities. With a bottle of champagne?
Raj: Mm, I like to celebrate the little things in life. You need to go? There's still some left.
Anu: Raj, what is going on?
Raj: No, no, it's not what's going on, it's what's comin' off.
Anu: Stop it. You're acting weird, and it's freaking me out.
Raj: Why? Because I couldn't talk and ran in the bathroom to slug back a bottle of champagne when I pretended to pee?

Raj: Okay, you wanted the truth, here it is.
Anu: You have a drinking problem.
Raj: No. I, uh, I have a talking problem, and a drinking solution.

Anu: If it makes you feel any better, I've got things I'm embarrassed about, too.
Raj: Really? Will you tell me one?
Anu: Okay. Um, ugh. I hate telling people this. I don't like music.
Raj: What kind of music?
Anu: Just all of it. It sort of seems like a waste of time.
Raj: Even Beyonce?
Anu: See, this is why I don't tell people.
Raj: No. Um, it's fine. It's just, have you heard "Single Ladies"?
Anu: Yeah, and I don't get it. I mean, the lyrics are "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."
Raj: You have to sing it in the voice of a goddess. Like: Oh, wa-ah, oh Wa-ah, oh Oh, oh, oh Wa-ah, oh. (laughs)
Anu: My point is, we both have our little eccentricities.
Raj: Little eccentricities? One is a deep-seated psychological disturbance, and the other can be solved by half a glass of chardonnay.

Anu: Last night was wonderful.
Raj: But all we did was talk.
Anu: Yeah. And it was wonderful. Am I safe to assume you talking to me now is a good sign for our marriage?
Raj: Yeah, and for my liver.

Bernadette: What you playing?
Howard: Fortnite. A bunch of people parachute onto an island and fight it out to be the last man standing.
Bernadette: Like Hunger Games?
Raj: More like Bachelor in Paradise, but not as cutthroat.

Raj: Okay, this citation is correct. How you doing?
Leonard: Pretty good. I'm just looking through "The Effect of High Energy Muons on Proton Pion Scattering at the National Accelerator-" (inhales) "-Laboratory."
Raj: Hey, should we take a break?
Leonard: No, this actually makes it more exciting. We have to get through all of this before I run out of this.
Raj: It's like the movie Speed, but instead of a bus, it's your lungs. And instead of Sandra Bullock, it has sadness.

Howard: Oh, gosh, my Russian's a little rusty.
Raj: If it helps, this word may be "moose."