Sheldon: Yeah, I have to say, it is nice to share this experience with someone who's on the same journey. Although right now ours is testing off the charts while yours is floating around in its own waste.
Bernadette: Are you actually comparing my human baby to your brain in a bowl?
Sheldon: Well, I didn't make you waddle up four flights of stairs for the heck of it.
Bernadette: You do realize my baby has functioning organs and can recognize voices.
Sheldon: Yeah, but ours can recognize a specific data stream among background noise.
Bernadette: Mine has a fully developed immune system.
Sheldon: Ours doesn't need an immune system because it lives in a state-of-the-art German incubator.

Amy: Sheldon, that's enough.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah, no, fine. Let's just agree that both creations are special in their own way and it is foolish to try and compare them. Although, we didn't need to have sex with Howard for ours, so we win.

Amy: Sheldon, please stop trying to seduce me.
Sheldon: Who's trying to seduce you? After a long day I always turn on smooth jazz and spray deer musk on my inner thighs.
Amy: I thought it smelled like a petting zoo in here.
Sheldon: Anything you'd like to pet? Bu-, but not my hair. There's a lot of goop in it.

Sheldon: I hope you're happy making me read this. Bert's work is remarkable. And I'm more upset than ever. This is worse than when I had to admit that Cedric the Entertainer's actually entertaining.

Sheldon: Well, this is highly insulting.
Amy: Sheldon, don't overreact.
Sheldon: I'm the child she was worried about? I have a brother and sister whose combined intellectual wattage couldn't power a potato clock ... if I spotted them the potato.

Sheldon: So Bernadette, if I express interest in your baby will you promise not to make me touch it?
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: Hey, how's life with your baby?
Amy: Really? You're never gonna touch their baby?
Sheldon: To this day I've never touched Stuart.

Leonard: It's not that I'd stopped trying, it's just how relationships progress. They start with infatuation, but over time mellow into something more comfortable.
Sheldon: Hmm. Yeah, you're right. It's like when I first encountered the Pythagorean Theorem. You know, I was blown away that the square of the hypotenuse was the sum of the squares of the opposite sides. Yeah, but now I'm just like "eh."

Sheldon: B.R.B. That's short for "be right back." I'm saving so much time!

Sheldon: Where's Howard?
Raj: He took the day off.
Sheldon: Oh, let's take advantage of his absence and tell the kinds of jokes only physicists get. I'll go first.
Okay, here. Uh, Heisenberg is pulled over by a police officer. And the policeman says, "Did you know you were going 85 miles per hour?" And Heisenberg says, "Darn it, now I don't know where I am."

Amy: What are you looking at?
Sheldon: Comments from our Behind the Flags retrospective. Get this, people are calling it "the longest one yet".

Bert: Sorry again for barging in.
Leonard: You don't have to go. You're welcome to hang with us.
Sheldon: Actually, our friendship group is at capacity. But if anybody drops out, you're at the top of the list. Unless it's Raj, in which case, we'll probably get a person of color.

Amy: Have you tried letting go of the rope?
Sheldon: What, are you crazy? I'm on a unicycle.
Amy: All right, well, have fun.
Sheldon: Wait, I need help getting down.
Amy: Well, what do you want me to do?
Sheldon: Drag out our mattress and put it over here, then go across the hall, get their mattress and put it over here. But before you do any of that, scratch my nose.

Leonard: First thing tomorrow morning, we're back at it.
Raj: Without me.
Sheldon: I hope his character doesn't make it into the movie; he's kind of a bummer.

Amy: I was offered a summer research fellowship at Princeton.
Sheldon: Princeton? A fine institution. The place where Albert Einstein taught. And where Leonard got his PhD, so it may have gone downhill.

Sheldon: I may have lost my guidance system and my girlfriend, but I still have a colon full of yesterday's meals to keep me company. Although, thanks to your high-fiber breakfast, I'm sure that'll be leaving me, too.