Leonard: Raj, no, it's a trap. They're flanking us!
Raj: Oooh, he's got me.
Howard: Sheldon, he's got Raj. Use your sleep spell. Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon: I've got the Sword of Azeroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon, help Raj.
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the Swordmaster!

Leonard: Oh, who am I kidding? I can't go through with this, you need to call her and cancel.
Sheldon: Me?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: What should I tell her?
Leonard: I don't know. Tell her I'm sick.
Sheldon: Okay.
Leonard: Not the kind of illness that will make her want to come over and take care of me, but nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable going out with me in the future if I want to try this again.
Sheldon: Got it. So I'm assuming nothing venereal. I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy and haven't quite bounced back.

Amy: What's with the blinking?
Sheldon: It's Morse code. So we can talk about without hurting --'s feelings.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't know Morse code.
Howard: I do. And if you have something to say, you can say it to my face.

Sheldon: She's going to be home at "eight-ish." Like, when is that? 8:01? 8:02? And what kind of scientist uses "-ish"?

Sheldon: I got you a little something to help you relax.
Amy: Sheldon, that is the sweetest, most- What what is this?
Sheldon: The notes from our quantum cognition project. I thought we could spend the evening grinding away on it.
Amy: (sighs) I just got home, I'm tired.
Sheldon: Of Howard, I know. So how about you and me make some beautiful science together?
Amy: Sheldon, I want to work on this with you, just not tonight. What if we get up early and do it in the morning? I promise, I'll be way more into it.
Sheldon: You know what? There was a time that you would've been happy to stay up and collaborate all night with me. And then wake up in the morning and do it some more.
Amy: (sighs) Fine, but can we make it quick?
Sheldon: No. If you're just gonna make me do all the work, then go to bed. But don't be surprised if you walk out here and catch me doing it myself.

Raj: This is great, the two of us hanging out. Why didn't we think of this earlier?
Sheldon: Agreed. I don't need Amy to watch a movie. I can not hold your hand just as easily.
(Sheldon starts the movie)
Sheldon: In the book this is based on, that man's the killer.

Amy: And rolling.
Sheldon: Hello. I am theoretical physicist, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, auditioning for the role of Professor Proton.
Now, excuse me while I get into character. (Turns around and back. In the same monotonous voice) Hello, I am Professor Proton.

Sheldon: So the next time someone on the playground tells you you can only use integral values for the matrix that determines the spin of the anti-proton, you stop being friends with that kid, 'cause he's going nowhere.

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon. What's up?
Sheldon: I need an acting coach.
Wil Wheaton: Oh.
Sheldon: Would you give me Patrick Stewart's number?
Wil Wheaton: No.
Sheldon: Fine, I guess you can do it.

Sheldon: Well, luckily, I got the number of the company who's trying to reboot the show, so I need you all to call and register your displeasure.
Raj: Sheldon, no one's gonna do that.
Sheldon: Not true. I know of three calls they've received already: a Southern gentleman, um, a Cockney chimney sweep, and, uh, Mr. T, hmm? Who - spoiler alert - pities the fool who tries to reboot that show.

Wil Wheaton: Did you ever consider that maybe Arthur would be happy to know that his show has outlived him?
Sheldon: I doubt it. He was kind of a mean old crank.

Penny: I thought you were looking at a cliff on the beach.
Amy: We were, but Sheldon didn't like any of them. Some were too beachy, some were too cliffy.
Sheldon: And all of them were too outsidey.

Howard: Are you guys working together on that meteorite project?
Sheldon: (sighs) Yes, fine, you found me out. I'm doing geology. Just, please, don't tell anyone.
Bert: Are you embarrassed of me?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, not you. No, just the work that you've devoted your entire life to.

Amy: Sheldon, you've never cared what people thought, even when you really, really should. That dinner with my parents comes to mind.
Sheldon: If I'm not gonna use "your momma" jokes when I meet your mother, why'd I bother to learn them?

Penny: I thought they fired you guys.
Sheldon: They did, but then they hired me back.
Leonard: Well, you better not be working on our project, because we're a team.
Sheldon: Leonard, there is no "I" in team. However, there is an "I" in "I'm working with the military and you're not." There's five of them, in fact.