Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 121 of 262
Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption
Sheldon: Well, I've had a lot on my plate. We happen to live in a golden age of television.
Quote from the episode The Table Polarization
Sheldon: Amy pointed out you were only trying to manipulate me.
Amy: Which you also figured out by yourself.
Sheldon: Which I also figured out by myself!
Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence
Leonard: Are you drinking whiskey?
Sheldon: Indeed. If I'm to participate in the social convention that is the "stag night," then I must embrace all its components, including tobacco, swear words and, yes, alcohol.
Jeepers, that's yucky!
Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling
Sheldon: I just threw up on a whole lot of clowns.
Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction
Sheldon: Well, she's due to tomorrow. But it did take her six years to finish high school, so who knows.
Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate
Leslie: I didn't know you eat here.
Sheldon: We don't, this is a disturbing aberration.
Quote from the episode The Deception Verification
Sheldon: I'm quite familiar with plumbing. Not to brag, but I spent most of fifth grade with my head in a toilet.
Quote from the episode The Deception Verification
Sheldon: I let you buy feminine hygiene products with my supermarket clubcard. Do you have any idea the kind of coupons I'm going to get in the mail now?
Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction
Sheldon: I never told you about my brother's kidney stones. Do you want hear about everything that comes out of my family's genitals?
Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation
Leonard: Buddy, I know me moving in with Penny feels like a big change, but it's not.
Sheldon: How can you say that? Amy's gone, and you two are married now, so it's only a matter of time before you're gone, too.
Penny: Okay, you don't know what's gonna happen.
Sheldon: No, I do. Eventually you'll want more space and you'll move into a house. And then instead of dinner a couple of times a week, it'll only be a couple of times a month. And then it'll only be on special occasions, like when Bernadette divorces Wolowitz.
Or-or-or like when Koothrappali's weird girlfriend admits where she buried his body.
Or Amy's wedding, where she's marrying someone better than me.
Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation
Sheldon: What a wonderful day, thank you.
Penny: Oh, we're glad you had fun.
Sheldon: Blue Icees and a trip to The Container Store? It's like I died and went to the post-mortem, neuron-induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven.
Quote from the episode The Meemaw Materialization
Sheldon: There's Amy. I just know you're gonna hit it off. You both have the same fashion sense.
Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration
Sheldon: Oh well, there were plenty of ways to pass the time before smart phones were invented.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: *Goes to grab phone* Son of a biscuit!
Quote from the episode The Misinterpretation Agitation
Dr. Lorvis: I was hoping to impress her by tracking her down on the Internet and then showing up announced at her door.
Sheldon: Making the extra effort. Good for you.
Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation
Sheldon: I'm looking forward to him teaching us glove-slapping.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You know, when my honor is insulted, and I need to challenge someone to a duel by slapping them across the face with my glove.
Leonard: When was your honor insulted?
Sheldon: My last physical.
Leonard: Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor. Just checked your prostate.
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