Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 123 of 262
Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation
Penny: Sheldon, please, we already feel bad about this.
Sheldon: You know what they don't sell at The Container Store? Something large enough to contain my disappointment.
Although, if anyone did, it would be them.
Quote from the episode The Confirmation Polarization
President Siebert: You know, Caltech has 38 Nobel laureates. If you win, you and Amy will be 39 and 40.
Sheldon: Ooh! Dibs on 39.
Amy: What's the difference?
Sheldon: Wha- You are right, there is no difference at all.
Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation
Sheldon: Amy and I are living together in sin, like a couple of New Yorkers. Now, while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and a fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.
Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation
Santa: (By a cannon, pointed at Sheldon) This is for leaving me in the dungeon to be eaten alive by ogres!
Sheldon: Wait, uh, uh, hang on. In my defense
Santa: Ho, ho, ho, ya big dork. (Fires cannon)
Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis
Sheldon: Why would I feel safer with Zachary Quinto at the foot of my bed?
Leonard: I don't know, he was pretty bad ass on Heroes.
Sheldon: Nope. Sorry Quinto, you're going back!
Quote from the episode The Colonization Application
Amy: Let's pick ourselves out a nice turtle. Ooh, how about this one up on the log?
Sheldon: Hmm, I don't know. He kinda looks like a jerk.
Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation
Sheldon: People should take care of themselves.
Leonard: Oh, like yesterday when you made me drive you to the dry cleaners, the pharmacy and the post office?
Sheldon: I'm not saying people can't use tools. Even an otter picks up a rock when he wants a clam.
Quote from the episode The Platonic Permutation
Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
Sheldon: Well, I'm calling because Thanksgiving is coming up, and I wanted to offer you the aquarium tickets.
Amy: No one can go with you?
Sheldon: No. They'd rather spend the holiday with each other than find out if this is the year I finally touch a starfish.
Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation
Sheldon: I smell funny. I taste salty.
Leonard: You're just sweaty from exercise.
Sheldon: And kind of delicious. I wonder how many licks it would take to get to the center of me.
Leonard: I know it only takes one doctor's finger.
Quote from the episode The Platonic Permutation
Sheldon: Do you have any questions for me?
Amy: Just one. Are you doing okay?
Sheldon: I am.
Amy: Good. I want you to be happy.
Sheldon: I believe you. I'd believe you more if you threw a few Apple Jacks in here.
Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation
Leonard: I still don't understand why you bought that pill caddie. You're a young man.
Sheldon: Age is a state of mind, Leonard. In here I'm 90.
Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology
Penny: Sheldon, you are a smart guy, you must know-
Sheldon: Smart? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.
Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance
Penny: Okay, let's try this. Think of yourself as one of those limited edition toys people like to collect.
Sheldon: I already do.
Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment
Sheldon: (On the phone) This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the planetarium. Yeah, well, I'm sorry too, but there's just no room for you in my wallet. No, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs. Oh, I'll miss you too. Bye-bye.
Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation
Sheldon: All right, so the topic at hand is sexual fidelity. Probably won't be relying on Suess here. Although One Fish Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish might be surprisingly applicable here.
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