Amy: Fine. Then maybe I should go.
Sheldon: Could you? That would solve everything. You are the best. I'll see you at dinner tonight?
Amy: You sure you wouldn't rather have dinner with your friend Wil Wheaton?
Sheldon: Come to think of it, I would! You, little lady, are on fire.

Leonard: Hold on. Wil and Amy had an argument?
Sheldon: Yes, quite the kerfuffle.
Leonard: Then Amy got mad and left?
Sheldon: Walked right out the door.
Leonard: And you?
Sheldon: Enjoyed a delightful dinner at a reasonable price. The manager recognized Wil and let us sit right next to the frozen yogurt machine. Right next to it. I was closer to it than I am to you right now.

Leonard: Buddy, I think Amy might be upset.
Sheldon: Why's that?
Leonard: Because your friend was rude to her, and then you went to dinner with him.
Sheldon: You're just repeating what I said. It's like living with a lactose-intolerant parrot.
Leonard: Trust me, call her.
Sheldon: Fine. It's a shame you didn't go to dinner with us, because the buffet you're about to enjoy only serves humble pie, a dessert much less tasty than frozen yogurt. I was this close.

Penny: So what are you drinking?
Sheldon: Well, it’s been a rough day. I usually go chamomile tea, but I don't think that's going to cut it.
Penny: You could have a Long Island Iced Tea.
Sheldon: Will that calm my nerves?
Penny: It's calmed the pants off me a couple of times.
Sheldon: Sold.

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
Sheldon: Wouldn't you like to know?
Wil Wheaton: Have you been drinking?
Sheldon: Just tea. S'the best tea I've ever had.
Wil Wheaton: Why are you here?
Sheldon: I'll tell you. I'm from Texas. Need I say more?
Wil Wheaton: Yeah, actually, a little more would be helpful.

Sheldon: You insulted my woman. I'm here to defend her honor. Two! It was two. *Knock, knock, knock* Wil Wheaton! Now prepare yourself for what may come.

Wil Wheaton: Okay, I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Well, that was a long bus ride for not very much.
Wil Wheaton: Are you okay?
Sheldon: You're asking a lot of questions, Wil Wheaton. As a matter of idle curiosity, which of your shrubberies do you feel would benefit from a thorough vomiting? Never mind, I'll choose. (Vomits) You were so good in Stand by Me.

Sheldon: My brother.
Amy: Wait a minute. You didn't invite your brother to your own wedding?
Sheldon: He tormented me my whole childhood. I don't think I should reward that type of behavior with a slice of wedding cake in the shape of the Millennium Falcon.
Amy: Try again.
Sheldon: A slice of wedding cake in the shape of a cake.

Leonard: We passed three of these stores on the way here. Why did you say he's just "some loser who sells tires"?
Sheldon: You're right, that was unfair. He's a loser who sells more tires than anyone in Texas.

Georgie: What the hell are you doing here?
Sheldon: Hello, Georgie.
Georgie: It's just George now.
Sheldon: Fine, George. No, I don't like it, Georgie.
Georgie: I see you haven't changed one bit.
Sheldon: Thank you, that is a nice thing to say.

Sheldon: Once, when I was eight, I was going to dress as my favorite scientist for Halloween, and Georgie threw my costume away. I had to wear a sheet and go as a ghost. Scared myself all night long.

Leonard: Well, look, we don't fly out until the morning. Why don't I try and talk to him, give it one more shot?
Sheldon: All right. But if he says, "Nerd says what", don't answer him.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You are a lamb to the slaughter.

Leonard: Is it me, or did we just patch a tire?
Sheldon: He said, "Never patch." Do you even listen?

Amy: (to Georgie) I like your accent. Sheldon, did you used to sound like that? Can you still?
Sheldon: I can. I will not.

Sheldon: Leonard. That's Mark Ha-Ha-Ha. It's-it's Mark Hami-Ha-Ha-
Leonard: Yep. Thank Wolowitz. He set it up.