Sheldon: Do you remember how upset I was when they replaced Edward Norton as the Hulk?
Leonard: Yes, you walked around for a week saying, Sheldon unhappy with casting choice.
Sheldon: But, then Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk in The Avengers, and he was even better.
Leonard: What's your point?
Sheldon: Call me a romantic. I like to think that your Mark Ruffalo is still out there somewhere.

Raj: You're being unreasonable. Why can't I have a desk?
Sheldon: Our collaboration is a work of the mind. We don't need desks.
Raj: You have a desk.
Sheldon: Correct.
Raj: But I can't have one.
Sheldon: You're two for two.

Leonard: Why can't he have a desk, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, Lord, will this day never end? As I've explained repeatedly to Dr. Koothrappali, whose ability to comprehend the American idiom fails him when it's convenient, there's absolutely no money in my budget for additional office furniture.
Raj: Oh, but there's money for a drawer full of Red Vines, a marshmallow shooting rifle, and a super executive ant farm with glow-in-the-dark sand?
Sheldon: Yes.

Sheldon: All right, all right. He can buy his own desk.
Raj: And I can put it in your office?
Sheldon: Well, you really want to dot the Is and cross the Ts, don't you?

Sheldon: I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake. Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it?
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: I'll risk it. But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why.

Sheldon: Morning. Happy birthday.
Amy: Yeah, sure.
Sheldon: Did you sleep at all?
Amy: No. You?
Sheldon: I passed out on the toilet once. I don't know if that counts.

Sheldon: And besides, it's our birthday tradition.
Amy: You think you can do it while I lie perfectly still and you don't touch me?
Sheldon: I can try. (doesn't move, exhales) Want to do it again?

Howard: And we have this completely ordinary cylinder. If you'd like to examine it?
Raj: Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord. A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader, only to emerge and discover his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret.

Sheldon: Ooh! Speaking of good news, somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers.
Amy: That's nice. Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day for a long time.
Sheldon: Yeah, me, too. Triple digits, I'm not gonna lie, feels pretty good.
Amy: Sheldon, I'm the sole author on a paper being published in a distinguished journal that may change the course of my field.
Sheldon: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ooh, 101! Air's getting a bit thin up here.

Penny: Okay, Amy just told you some exciting news, and you acted like it was no big deal.
Sheldon: Oh, I see why you're confused. No, her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is, it was an achievement in the field of biology. That's all about yucky, squishy things.

Penny: Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend. You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by.
Sheldon: What if they simply don't excite me?
Penny: Well, just smile and think about koalas.
Sheldon: She'd see right through that. We go to the zoo all the time. She knows my koala face. And for future reference, it's this.

Leonard: Oh, a little Red Dead Redemption, huh?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: How come you're not doing a mission? You're just wandering around.
Sheldon: Had a rough night. I thought I'd go for a walk and clear my head.
Leonard: Some people go outside and do that.
Sheldon: It's after nine o'clock, at this hour the streets of Pasadena are teeming with drunken sailors and alley cats.

Leonard: Glad I could help.
Sheldon: It's appreciated. And if you ever manage to find a woman again, I'll be glad to return the favor.

Penny: Ooh, does she like bracelets?
Sheldon: Well, she's very fond of her silver one that says allergic to penicillin. Maybe they have a dressier version of that?

Sheldon: What time did you tell Amy to be here?
Penny: Eight o'clock. (Sheldon checks his pocket watch) Sheldon, that pocket watch is ridiculous.
Sheldon: Nonsense. I look like a train conductor.