Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 235 of 262
Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation
Stuart: Raisinet?
Sheldon: Shh, we're trying to watch the movie. (To Amy) This is not working out with him.
Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation
Sheldon: Oh, I was having a little trouble sleeping and I just thought, uh, seeing as you're up, we could talk.
Penny: Talk about what?
Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. Uh, weather. Uh, fish you could do carpentry with. Why Leonard is such an attractive and desirable boyfriend. Yeah, pick one. Your choice.
Penny: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Did you know that Leonard has a perfect driving record and enjoys the insurance discounts that go along with that? Hubba-hubba.
Penny: Okay, go home, crazy man.
Sheldon: Yeah. Did you know that while Leonard is not considered a tall fellow in our country, in today's North Korea, he's downright average. Hey, talk about a keeper.
Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation
Amy: (Puts Penny on hold, answers a new call) Hello?
Sheldon: Yeah, just a heads-up: Penny knows that you blabbed about Leonard. She's pretty mad.
Amy: I know. She's yelling at me right now.
Sheldon: All right then, so we're all on the same page.
Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation
Raj: Focused Locust.
Stuart: Temple of Yip.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Wolowitz would never play that card.
Stuart: All right, Lesser Demon Turtle.
Sheldon: Fairy God Monster, I win. Your desperate need for friendship makes you weak.
Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation
Sheldon: Do you remember how upset I was when they replaced Edward Norton as the Hulk?
Leonard: Yes, you walked around for a week saying, Sheldon unhappy with casting choice.
Sheldon: But, then Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk in The Avengers, and he was even better.
Leonard: What's your point?
Sheldon: Call me a romantic. I like to think that your Mark Ruffalo is still out there somewhere.
Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation
Raj: You're being unreasonable. Why can't I have a desk?
Sheldon: Our collaboration is a work of the mind. We don't need desks.
Raj: You have a desk.
Sheldon: Correct.
Raj: But I can't have one.
Sheldon: You're two for two.
Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation
Leonard: Why can't he have a desk, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, Lord, will this day never end? As I've explained repeatedly to Dr. Koothrappali, whose ability to comprehend the American idiom fails him when it's convenient, there's absolutely no money in my budget for additional office furniture.
Raj: Oh, but there's money for a drawer full of Red Vines, a marshmallow shooting rifle, and a super executive ant farm with glow-in-the-dark sand?
Sheldon: Yes.
Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation
Sheldon: All right, all right. He can buy his own desk.
Raj: And I can put it in your office?
Sheldon: Well, you really want to dot the Is and cross the Ts, don't you?
Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation
Sheldon: I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake. Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it?
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: I'll risk it. But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why.
Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation
Sheldon: Morning. Happy birthday.
Amy: Yeah, sure.
Sheldon: Did you sleep at all?
Amy: No. You?
Sheldon: I passed out on the toilet once. I don't know if that counts.
Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation
Sheldon: And besides, it's our birthday tradition.
Amy: You think you can do it while I lie perfectly still and you don't touch me?
Sheldon: I can try. (doesn't move, exhales) Want to do it again?
Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver
Howard: And we have this completely ordinary cylinder. If you'd like to examine it?
Raj: Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord. A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader, only to emerge and discover his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret.
Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver
Sheldon: Ooh! Speaking of good news, somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers.
Amy: That's nice. Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day for a long time.
Sheldon: Yeah, me, too. Triple digits, I'm not gonna lie, feels pretty good.
Amy: Sheldon, I'm the sole author on a paper being published in a distinguished journal that may change the course of my field.
Sheldon: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ooh, 101! Air's getting a bit thin up here.
Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver
Penny: Okay, Amy just told you some exciting news, and you acted like it was no big deal.
Sheldon: Oh, I see why you're confused. No, her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is, it was an achievement in the field of biology. That's all about yucky, squishy things.
Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver
Penny: Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend. You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by.
Sheldon: What if they simply don't excite me?
Penny: Well, just smile and think about koalas.
Sheldon: She'd see right through that. We go to the zoo all the time. She knows my koala face. And for future reference, it's this.
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