Sheldon: You wish. You are hundreds of hours away from the middle.

Amy: What are you guys doing here?
Leonard: Sheldon texted and said Bernadette wanted us all to come over.
Sheldon: The game's best with five to ten players.

Sheldon: Hey, Bernadette, it's your turn. Penny's air force is strafing your supply line in Tobruk.
Bernadette: We're kind of busy.
Sheldon: Okay, but you're being pretty rude. Everyone did come over to play this game with you.

Sheldon: Bernadette, it's your turn.
Bernadette: What about Greg?
Sheldon: All right, I'll just roll for you. Ooh! That is a good one! Your troops' morale rating is pretty high.
Now, Leonard, as the defender, we need to subtract your morale rating from Bernadette's to get a final adjusted morale rating for the assault. And I will just check the assault differential column. Ooh! Who said war was hell? Yeah, that's a rhetorical question. Sherman said it.

Amy: Sheldon, we're talking about something important here.
Sheldon: (sighs) Fine. If you pick a baby name, can we get back to playing?
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: All right, here we go. Ranatanata.
Raj: You can't name him Ranatanata.
Sheldon: Oh, right, it's a boy. That'd be ridiculous. (gasps) What about Ozymandias?
Penny: Are you making these up or having a stroke?
Sheldon: Ozymandias is from a poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley. Oh, oh! Bysshe Wolowitz. Solved. Back to the game. Heyo! Sandstorm!

Sheldon: Guys. Guys, wake up. Terrible news.
Penny: Oh, my God. What, what, what? Is it the baby?
Sheldon: No. No, no, we miscalculated our unassigned armor class units. We need to start over.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, not from the beginning. Just from when the tanks started moving.
Leonard: (sighs) That was five hours ago.
Sheldon: Mm, no. No, that was two hours ago. It only feels like five.

Sheldon: You know, it can take some time for pigment to form. You're still not out of the woods.

Sheldon: I'm glad we're still friends.
Penny: Really?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I'd hate for that effort to have been in vain.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Just to be clear do I have to stop saying coitus with everyone or just you?
Penny: Everyone.
Sheldon: Harsh terms. But all right, I'll just substitute intercourse.
Penny: Great.
Sheldon: Or fornication. Yeah. But that has judgmental overtones, so I'll hold that in reserve.

Penny: How's Leonard doing?
Sheldon: He seems all right. Although he does spend a disturbing amount of time looking at photographs of you and smelling the pillow you slept on. Oh, but now that I think of it, he asked me not to tell you that.
Penny: I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
Sheldon: I'd rather you pretend I didn't say it.

Sheldon: I see you bought Mama Italia marinara spaghetti sauce.
Penny: Yep.
Sheldon: That's the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her, that's what the Romans made Jesus eat.

Penny: Why don't you give me an hour and come over?
Sheldon: Will you cut up hot dogs into little chunks and mix them in with the sauce?
Penny: I don't have hot dogs.
Sheldon: Oh, it's all right, I do. Oh. You're in for what my mother calls a real Eye-talian treat.

Howard: The point is, in a situation like this you got to pick sides. You're either on Team Leonard or Team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Well, usually I'm on the team that picks last. Unless there's a kid in a wheelchair.

Leonard: Sheldon, I got you your tangerine chicken. I hope you're hungry.
Sheldon: Well, of course I'm hungry. And as I have no plans to eat with any other team, I will consume my tangerine chicken with the appropriate gusto. Mm, mm, mm!
Leonard: Okay.
Sheldon: Just out of curiosity, do we still have hot dogs?
Leonard: I don't know. Why?
Sheldon: Just making dinner conversation.

Leonard: Do you want the last dumpling, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Certainly. It's not like I have to moderate my food intake because I'm planning on eating again very shortly. Mm, mm, mm!

Howard: So what, you're just gonna walk up and down the stairs?
Sheldon: No, of course not. That would be odd and suspicious behavior.