Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 3 of 247

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Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Amy: What do you guys think you're doing?
Raj: We're showing Sheldon Halloween.
Amy: Absolutely not. Sheldon, come home.
Sheldon: But I really want to watch it.
Amy: I know you do, but I am forbidding it.
Sheldon: Oh, man. Sorry, guys.
[in the hallway:]
Sheldon: What took you so long?
Amy: I'm sorry. I just got your text!

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Sheldon: Hello, Bernadette.
Bernadette: Wait, did you just walk into my house?
Sheldon: No, Howard let me in.
Bernadette: Where is he?
Sheldon: Oh, he got in his car and drove away.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Sheldon: Oh. Is that watermelon for anybody?
Bernadette: It's for Halley.
Sheldon: Is she gonna eat all of it? God, no wonder she looks like Churchill.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Bernadette: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Howard said your feelings were hurt.
Bernadette: Well, Howard's wrong. I don't care if someone makes fun of me.
Sheldon: All right. Apparently I came all this way for nothing. Unless Halley wants to share that watermelon?

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Bernadette: You think Amy's the first person to make fun of me for having a squeaky voice? Do you?
Sheldon: I feel like my chance at watermelon is dangling by a thread.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Bernadette: She's not. It's been happening my whole life. And-and she called me out for being mean? Well, I've had to be mean. It's hard to be taken seriously when you're always the smallest person in the room.
Sheldon: I know that. I was in high school when I was nine years old. I tried to tell the other kids that although my physical stature was small, my intellectual stature towered over them. That only seemed to make things worse.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Sheldon: Well, people used to call me egghead 'cause there were eggs on my head. 'Cause they threw them at me.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Bernadette: One time my brothers made me breathe helium. I tried to call for help, but the only one who could hear me was the dog.
Sheldon: That's also terrible. My goodness, you had to live in a house with a dog.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Bernadette: I guess we both had to put up with a lot of crap from people.
Sheldon: I suppose we have. Huh. Maybe you and I are more alike than we thought.
Bernadette: Maybe we are.
Sheldon: Although I'm exceptionally tall, and you're exceptionally-
Bernadette: Sheldon.
Sheldon: You didn't even let me finish.
Bernadette: Fine. Sorry.
Sheldon: Short.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Sheldon: I think Howard hurting my feelings has in some ways made me a better person.
Amy: Hmm. Look at you, improving on perfection. How so?
Sheldon: As you were eating that Danish, I wanted to point out that the Danish isn't Danish at all. It was imported by Austrian bakers during a labor dispute in the 1800s. But I chose not to, because I didn't want to be the kind of fella who foists unwanted facts about European pastries on the unwilling.
Amy: Huh. That's actually interesting.
Sheldon: Sorry. Now you'll never know.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Howard: Hey, guys, I need your help. Bernadette's still pretty upset about your costumes.
Sheldon: She's upset? Those pants I wore to make fun of you were so tight, I risked a testicular hernia.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Bernadette: What do you think you're doing?
Amy: I thought it was clear. I'm being unnecessarily hurtful but with a sweet voice.
Sheldon: And I don't understand what's going on because I went to MIT.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Sheldon: Amy, do you think I'm always correcting other people?
Amy: No, not all the time. I mean, just last week, Penny ended a sentence with a preposition. You didn't even mention it.
Sheldon: True. I just waited until I got home and screamed into a pillow.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Amy: Is something bothering you?
Sheldon: Howard dressed up as me and imitated me, and everyone laughed.
Amy: Oh. Well, that must have felt terrible.
Sheldon: It did. I never realized my friends viewed me as an object of ridicule.
Amy: Oh, I don't think that's true.
Sheldon: They laughed, Amy. In a derisive way. Not in the instructive way I laugh at them when they're being stupid.

Quote from the episode The Imitation Perturbation

Raj: Hey, did you guys know this year's the 40th anniversary of Halloween?
Sheldon: Oh, nonsense. Halloween traditions of date back to the Celtic festival of Samhain. Although our current Halloween customs come from the evening before All Hallows' Day, All Hallows' Eve. Thus, Halloween.
Raj: I meant the movie Halloween.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, that's not interesting at all.
Leonard: Did you know the Michael Myers mask from the film was actually a Captain Kirk mask turned inside out?
Sheldon: Okay, now it's interesting.

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