Sheldon: Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish?
Penny: Damn, I forgot to feed him. And that I had him.

Penny: I get it, I get it. You're an emotionless robot.
Sheldon: Well, I try.

Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on MySpace.
Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them.
Sheldon: That's the beauty of it.

Sheldon: I should have asked for much more than a comic book and a robot.

Sheldon: Could we focus on what's important here? I lost a bet to Wolowitz!

Sheldon: There's always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening.

Sheldon: Everything is better with Bluetooth.

Penny: Sheldon, you know, I do understand what you're going through.
Sheldon: Really? Did you just have the Nobel Prize in Waitressing stolen from you?

Sheldon: I have a Masters degree and two Doctorates. The things I should know, I do know.

Stuart: Here, Sheldon, I pulled the new Hellboy for you. It's mind-blowing.
Sheldon: Excuse me. Spoiler alert.
Stuart: I didn't spoil anything.
Sheldon: You told me it's mind-blowing.So, my mind is going into it pre-blown. And once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown.
Stuart: I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Said the Grinch to Christmas.

Sheldon: It's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated.

Sheldon: Really, Amy? Tobacco and alcohol? Need I remind you not a lot of scientific discoveries were made by people having a good time?

Howard: There must be another way.
Raj: You could try calling AAA. But based on NASA's latest timetable, they wouldn't be out there for another 35 years.
Sheldon: Plus, I understand you need to be standing next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive.

Sheldon: Oh, here's a fun fact. Ketchup started out as a general term for sauce, typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices. Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry, anchovy, oyster, kidney bean, and grape.

Leonard: Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous!
Sheldon: I know! Most of your work is extremely derivative. And don't worry, that's not a secret.