Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 10 of 11

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Raj: So how's your apartment?
Stuart: Not great. The electricity's out.
Raj: So why don't you get it fixed?
Stuart: I called, and they're like, "Pay your bill!"

Quote from the episode The Hot Tub Contamination

Raj: I wonder if this is what it feels like to be Bernadette's baby.
Stuart: I don't know. Bernadette's baby doesn't have a Jacuzzi jet hitting just the right spot.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Howard: When would you move in?
Stuart: Well, uh, my car broke down in your driveway, so I'm gonna say now.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Stuart: No, I needed a place to stay and, with the baby coming, I figured they could use some extra help.
Raj: Okay, cool.
Stuart: Anyway, come on in, dinner's ready.
Raj: Oh, but I bought Chinese takeout.
Stuart: Oh, okay.Well, if Bernadette wants her ankles to swell up even more, she can have that.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Raj: So, I was reading how it's a good idea for new parents to take an infant CPR class.
Bernadette: Yeah, we've been meaning to do that.
Stuart: Oh, I know a CPR instructor who'll come to the house.
Howard: That'd be great.
Stuart: I'll give him a call. We met when I was sleeping on the beach and he thought I was dead.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Stuart: Why can't there be four wheels?
Raj: Is this what you do when I'm not here, make really good points?
Stuart: Look, just come in and help me build a baby swing.
Raj: Thank you.
Stuart: If you're hungry you can eat your takeout; nobody touched it.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Raj: As much as I appreciate this, I can't accept it. Okay? Halley's my goddaughter, I don't take care of her for money.
Stuart: I would.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Raj: You know, we're both down on our luck. Maybe you and I should try to get a place together.
Stuart: (chuckles) Okay, listen to me. There is no reason to leave here. This is great. Everyone's nice. It's comfortable. If all goes according to plan, this is my retirement home.
Raj: Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if you were more independent?
Stuart: Better than I feel in their steam shower? I don't think so.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Raj: No, you see, I'm doing this so I can stop being spoiled and, you know, grow as a person.
Stuart: Good for you. This sandwich has six dollars worth of ham in it.

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Howard: You okay?
Bernadette: Of course, why?
Howard: Well, I don't know, you seem a little upset.
Bernadette: No, I'm fine.
Howard: You sure?
Stuart: Why don't you think she's fine? She sounds fine, she looks fine. If I saw her on the street I'd say, "Damn, that girl's fine!"

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: Actually, I was going to suggest me.
Howard: Great. Anybody's better than, (glancing at Stuart) mmm.
Stuart: Excuse me. They took out my spleen and gallbladder, not my feelings.

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: You don't see it, do you? We're losing her.
Leonard: Okay, I'm going to make this very simple for you. You are not in this relationship, I am. Ergo, you have no say in anything that happens between me and Stephanie.
Sheldon: I'm afraid I can't allow that. Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104 Section A, you are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command.
Leonard: General Order 104, Section A does not apply in this situation.
Sheldon: Give me one good reason why not.
Leonard: Because this is not Star Trek.

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Penny: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Oh, hey, Penny. Wow. Hi.
Penny: What's going on?
Stuart: Nothing. I'm just getting ready to close up and head out.
Penny: Ah. Cool. Got any fun plans?
Stuart: Oh, yeah. Big night tonight. Gonna share a can of tuna with the cat.
Penny: Oh, nice.
Stuart: Not even my cat. I just feed it. Some nights it doesn't even show up.

Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation

Sheldon: I open the chest.
Leonard: It's locked, but suddenly the door behind you slams shut and now the walls of the room start closing in.
Stuart: That's not good. My character and I both have claustrophobia.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Stuart: I, um, I want you to know that even though we're on opposite sides, I, I bear you no ill will.
Penny: Thank you, Stuart. It's nice to know.
Stuart: People from opposite sides often have good relationships. You know, Romeo and Juliet, Tony and Maria from West Side Story, what's-his-name and the big blue chick in Avatar. ... I'm gonna bowl now.

Showing quotes 136 to 150 of 165Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes