Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 10 of 14

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Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Momentum

Stuart: I know what you're going through. My last break-up was pretty tough.
Amy: Oh, what was her name?
Stuart: Hey, it's a true story. I don't need the third degree.

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: (from outside the room) You guys got a minute, or are you still cuddling?
Howard: What is it, Stuart?
Stuart: Can I come in?
Howard: Hang on. (quietly) Should I send him away?
Bernadette: No, it's okay.
Stuart: (from outside the room) Thanks, Bernie.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: No, we-we definitely mined some. I-I remember sitting in your bedroom and writing the program.
I think we ended up with a bunch of it.
Raj: Wow, and at, like, $5,000 apiece, that's-
Stuart: Sounds like a lot of money, which we agreed to share 'cause I-I was totally there. I remember now.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: Maybe I'll just hang out here for a while.
Stuart: Great. And you can make fun of me all you want.
Howard: No, that's okay.
Stuart: No, no, no. Go on. I can take it. My feelings, like my extremities, are basically numb.

Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation

Stuart: I gotta tell you, this is the most holiday fun I've had since my therapist changed my anxiety medication and I stopped caring about the blood in my stool.
Howard: Good story.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Howard: Hey, Stuart, you're coming to Halley's party, right?
Stuart: You bet. Plus, I live there and I was invited, so it's already better than my tenth birthday party.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Bernadette: Nobody needs a mooch living in their house forever.
Stuart: Hey, that's no way to talk about your baby.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Leonard: Hey, Stuart, got any plans Thursday night?
Stuart: My doctor's worried about my circulation so I was thinking about walking around the mall.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Sheldon: Can you break a twenty?
Stuart: No, I only have hundreds.
Sheldon: You know what. I don't always recognize sarcasm, but I do right now and I don't appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're not the only one whose day's been a disaster.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Stuart: Ruchi said she wanted to hang out with both of us. Why don't we just do that?
Raj: Oh, fine. Let's hang out as friends and see what happens.
Leonard: Yeah, and if something grows out of it, just worry about it then.
Stuart: Also what my doctor said.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Bernadette: So how can we help?
Stuart: Well, I know more women are buying comics than ever, but for some reason, I can't get 'em in here.
Penny: All right. Well, what have you tried so far?
Stuart: Uh, I've been stocking more female-oriented titles. In the bathroom, I folded the end of the toilet paper into a triangle. And, uh, you are now sitting in the official breastfeeding area.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Amy: Have you thought about advertising directly to females?
Stuart: Hmm, okay. Well, all right. What if I put up a sign in the window that said, "Women, come in. Don't be afraid."?

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Stuart: I mean, what can I do? I get so nervous around women.
Penny: Well, you're talking to us now. I mean, you don't seem nervous.
Stuart: Well, that's 'cause I'm doing that trick where you imagine the audience is naked. By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
Amy: Do you not hear how creepy that sounds?
Stuart: It was a joke.
Bernadette: Was it?
Stuart: No, I'm still doing it.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Stuart: I, um, I want you to know that even though we're on opposite sides, I, I bear you no ill will.
Penny: Thank you, Stuart. It's nice to know.
Stuart: People from opposite sides often have good relationships. You know, Romeo and Juliet, Tony and Maria from West Side Story, what's-his-name and the big blue chick in Avatar. ... I'm gonna bowl now.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Raj: You know, we're both down on our luck. Maybe you and I should try to get a place together.
Stuart: (chuckles) Okay, listen to me. There is no reason to leave here. This is great. Everyone's nice. It's comfortable. If all goes according to plan, this is my retirement home.
Raj: Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if you were more independent?
Stuart: Better than I feel in their steam shower? I don't think so.

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