Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 11 of 14

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Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Stuart: Well, if you really don't want to use your brother, I'd be your best man.
Sheldon: Really?
Stuart: Yeah, we're friends. Plus, it'd be nice. Never really been called the best before. Or a man, for that matter.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Raj: No, you see, I'm doing this so I can stop being spoiled and, you know, grow as a person.
Stuart: Good for you. This sandwich has six dollars worth of ham in it.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Leonard: Stuart, I'm sorry if it's weird Sheldon made me best man instead of you.
Stuart: It's okay. I was best man for two whole days. No one can take that away from me. Except for Sheldon, when he did.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Leonard: I can't believe we forgot about it.
Howard: It's not that surprising. They were basically worthless when we got them.
Leonard: I wish I knew how much we had.
Raj: Sheldon, you must remember.
Sheldon: Of course I do.
Stuart: Oh, yeah, he and I totally remember. You tell them, Sheldon.

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Sheldon: Hello Stuart.
Stuart: Hey Sheldon. Help you with anything?
Sheldon: Yes. I'm attending a party this weekend, for a 93-year-old woman. Can you recommend a gift?
Stuart: Uh, I don't know. Could put a tennis ball on the end of Excalibur. Make a pretty badass cane.
Sheldon: Do you supply the tennis ball?
Stuart: No.

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Howard: You okay?
Bernadette: Of course, why?
Howard: Well, I don't know, you seem a little upset.
Bernadette: No, I'm fine.
Howard: You sure?
Stuart: Why don't you think she's fine? She sounds fine, she looks fine. If I saw her on the street I'd say, "Damn, that girl's fine!"

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Sheldon: Hello, Penny. I just stopped by to bring you this gift.
Penny: Gummy bears? Thank you.
Sheldon: Now that you're in my debt, please manipulate Amy into releasing me from my commitment to attend her aunt's tedious birthday party.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Raj: Hey, Stuart, I see you're getting ready for your Halloween party.
Stuart: Yeah, it's my annual attempt to meet women. Ninth time's the charm.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Leonard: What about Wonder Woman's bracelets?
Raj: Good point. Strong as a metal and fierce as a fashion choice.
Neil Gaiman: You know, Thor's hammer's pretty powerful, and in the comics, it's made out of enchanted uru.
Stuart: Uh, yeah, I think it's the enchantment that's powerful, not the uru, but, uh, thanks for playing.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Stuart: Got another follower. I'm blowing up.
Howard: Great. How many does that make?
Stuart: High double digits.
Sheldon: The nineties?
Stuart: Mid double digits.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Grant: So, this is really where Neil Gaiman shops?
Stuart: Neil Gaiman, Nicolas Cage, Natalie Portman. The list goes on.
Grant: They all come here?
Stuart: Unless I'm lying.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Sheldon: You know what? Just give me a copy of Action Comics 1000, and I'll be on my way.
Stuart: Sorry. All out.
Sheldon: Now you just let people come in and buy them? I didn't realize your soul was also for sale.
Stuart: Well, it wasn't, but, uh, make me an offer.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Stuart: Listen to this. I-I was ringing up a customer, and I heard someone say, "Hey, there's a line," and I looked, and there was.

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: You don't see it, do you? We're losing her.
Leonard: Okay, I'm going to make this very simple for you. You are not in this relationship, I am. Ergo, you have no say in anything that happens between me and Stephanie.
Sheldon: I'm afraid I can't allow that. Pursuant to Starfleet General Order 104 Section A, you are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command.
Leonard: General Order 104, Section A does not apply in this situation.
Sheldon: Give me one good reason why not.
Leonard: Because this is not Star Trek.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Stuart: I am really sorry. I will make it up to you. But it won't be with a Val Kilmer Batman figurine (laughing) because some sucker's buying that right now. [to the customer] (laughs) Not you. This is great.

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