Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 12 of 14

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Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Stuart: Oh, I see you guys have found my little treasure.
Leonard: Yeah. It's okay, I guess.
Sheldon: Okay? It's magnificent.
Leonard: Buh-buh-buh-buh! What do you want for it?
Stuart: Oh, it's hard to put a price on something thats a copy of something that was on pay cable. But for my friends, let's say 250?
Leonard: Oh, that's pretty steep.
Stuart: Well, it's a limited edition. They only made 8,000 of these bad boys.

Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Leonard: Two ten and you throw in the Iron Man helmet.
Stuart: Are you crazy? That helmet's signed by Robert Downey Jr.
Leonard: So?
Stuart: Okay, if you're going to question the importance of an actor's signature on a plastic helmet from a movie based on a comic book, then all of our lives have no meaning!

Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Leonard: Okay, fine. Just the sword, two ten.
Stuart: Thank you. I can eat meat this week.

Quote from the episode The Comet Polarization

Stuart: Oh the funniest thing happened today. You know the, uh, receipt tape in the cash register? It ran out. I didn't even know it could do that.

Quote from the episode The Relaxation Integration

Raj: I'm just saying, you should bow out.
Stuart: Why should I bow out?
Raj: Uh, because we all know how this is gonna end.
Stuart: That's what my doctor said, too, but I'm still here.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Stuart: Well, tonight's my date with Penny and since we haven't been able to connect by phone...
Leonard: Yeah, I'm sorry, it's been broken.
Stuart: Or e-mail.
Leonard: Yeah, that too. Everything's broken.
Stuart: Anyway, I was just wondering if you had any last-minute advice.
Leonard: All right, well, off the top of my head, I think the most important thing with Penny is to go really slow. I mean, glacial.
Stuart: Okay.
Leonard: You know, guys come onto her all the time, so, you need to, like, set yourself apart. You know, be a little shy, don't make too much eye contact. And, you know, treat her with, like, cool detachment and, you know, fear.
Stuart: Fear?
Leonard: Yeah, like, you're afraid that if you touch her, she'll break.
Stuart: Well, that plays right into my wheelhouse.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Stuart: If I were you, I'd go for Fables number one. The artwork is sophisticated, it's intelligently written, and it doesn't objectify or stereotype women.
Penny: Ooh, Thor! He's hot.
Stuart: Yeah, he kind of is.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Stuart: Yeah, last night at dinner, I did what you told me, I went really slow, I kept my distance, and two bottles of wine later, we were making out in my car.
Leonard: Wine? I didn't say to give her wine.
Stuart: It doesn't matter, that's where it all went to hell.
Leonard: During the kissing? What did you do, sneeze in her mouth? I did that to a girl once.
Stuart: No, everything was good and really hot, and I said “Oh, Penny,” and right where she was supposed to say, “Oh, Stuart,” she said ... your name.
Leonard: Leonard?
Stuart: That is your name, right?
Leonard: Yeah, no, yeah, wow, I'm sorry. That must've been the last thing you wanted to hear.
Stuart: Well, it beats "You know I'm a dude, right?" Yeah, it was pretty bad.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Howard: When would you move in?
Stuart: Well, uh, my car broke down in your driveway, so I'm gonna say now.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Stuart: Don't stress about this party. She's one; she's not gonna remember. The other day I showed her her toe, and she was shocked.
Howard: It's not for the baby; it's for Bernadette. She's feeling guilty about all the stuff she's missing with Halley.
Stuart: All right. Uncle Stuart's got your back. Ain't no party like a Stuart party because Stuart's never invited to parties.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Stuart: No, I needed a place to stay and, with the baby coming, I figured they could use some extra help.
Raj: Okay, cool.
Stuart: Anyway, come on in, dinner's ready.
Raj: Oh, but I bought Chinese takeout.
Stuart: Oh, okay.Well, if Bernadette wants her ankles to swell up even more, she can have that.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Raj: So, I was reading how it's a good idea for new parents to take an infant CPR class.
Bernadette: Yeah, we've been meaning to do that.
Stuart: Oh, I know a CPR instructor who'll come to the house.
Howard: That'd be great.
Stuart: I'll give him a call. We met when I was sleeping on the beach and he thought I was dead.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Stuart: I'm, uh, I'm running a special today, uh, buy something, keep having a comic book store to come to.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Stuart: Why can't there be four wheels?
Raj: Is this what you do when I'm not here, make really good points?
Stuart: Look, just come in and help me build a baby swing.
Raj: Thank you.
Stuart: If you're hungry you can eat your takeout; nobody touched it.

Quote from the episode The Gates Excitation

Bernadette: Bye, my babies, I love you.
Stuart: (high-pitched) We love you, too, Mommy.
Bernadette: Yeah, don't do that.

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