Raj: I'm just saying, you should bow out.
Stuart: Why should I bow out?
Raj: Uh, because we all know how this is gonna end.
Stuart: That's what my doctor said, too, but I'm still here.

Stuart: Howard, Bernadette was there last night. Did she say anything when she got home?
Howard: Yeah, she said, "Why'd you tell those idiots where I was? Thanks a lot."

Ruchi: It's too bad Stuart couldn't make it. He seemed fun.
Raj: Oh, yeah, he is. I love him dearly, yeah. Not to say that I don't worry about him.
Ruchi: What's to worry about?
Raj: You know what? I'm talking out of school. Speaking of which, he's allowed to live near them now.

Raj: Oh, you were born in Trivandrum? Have you ever been to the Kuthira Malika Palace?
Ruchi: No, I haven't.
Raj: Me, either. What a small world.
Stuart: I've also never been there. I've never been lots of places. Go on, quiz me.

Ruchi: I'm sorry, we're being rude talking about India.
Raj: Oh, yeah, you know, if you and Bernadette want to talk about America, that's cool with us. Here, let me get you started. (In an American accent) Hamburgers, am I right?

Stuart: If you still want to hang out as friends, I'd like that.
Ruchi: Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too.
Stuart: And the fungus is under the toenail.