Stuart: Actually, I own my own store. Uh, if you'd like to check it out sometime, I'm running a new promotion: buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner.
Raj: Yeah, yeah, Stuart's struggling financially. But he doesn't let that get him down. He believes in himself. Even though the whole world has made it clear he should not.

Stuart: Okay, how about we flip a coin?
Leonard: Look, hang on. Doesn't this girl get a word in all of this? And isn't that word "no"?

Amy: Are you sure that's what you want?
Sheldon: As sure as I'm about to go bathe in Purell.

Amy: I'm just saying maybe there's a part of you deep down that just wants to relax a little, you know? Kick back. Say, "Whatev."
Sheldon: Whatev? I'm sorry, you're really not gonna finish that word?
Amy: I'm just trying to make a point-
Sheldon: Finish the word, Amy.
Amy: Fine. Er. Er, er, er.
Sheldon: Thank you. Only now you owe me three more whatevs.

Sheldon: What are you listening to?
Amy: Nothing.
Sheldon: Oh, come on, I want to hear.
Sheldon: (on a recording) We don't need GPS. Let's just see where the road takes us.
Sheldon: I see why you turned it off. That guy sounds like an idiot.
Penny: Honey, that's you.
Sheldon: Don't be silly. My voice is deep and sonorous. Like a Caucasian James Earl Jones. "Luke, I am your father." See?

Amy: I couldn't help but wonder if it meant something.
Sheldon: Well, it doesn't.
Amy: Are you sure? I mean, the prefrontal cortex regulates impulse control. So it's plausible that when we're asleep, aspects of our personality that we repress might come out.
Sheldon: Don't try to put science lipstick on your New Age pig! And for the record, you make noises when you sleep, and I've never accused you of repressing your inner chainsaw.

Raj: Okay, look, I think that she and I have more in common.
Stuart: Because you're Indian? So just 'cause she's brown, you get to date her?
Raj: Yes! And the next time we meet a woman who's pale and cadaver-like, she's all yours.

Penny: Hey, this isn't your laundry night.
Sheldon: I know. Laundry on a Wednesday. It's the madness my life has become.

Penny: Why is this sleep-talking thing bothering you anyway?
Sheldon: It's simple. I don't like the idea that my mind might be keeping an entire personality from me.
Dr. Jekyll's other personality was Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde. Didn't have a postgraduate degree.

Sheldon: Okay. Well, assuming you're right, what would you suggest I do?
Penny: Well, I would start with something small, see if it makes your life any better. Um, you can learn to meditate, take a yoga class.
Sheldon: Oh, you know, I have always been intrigued by flip-flops. The official footwear of the laid-back fellow.
Penny: Okay, sure.
Sheldon: Of course if my feet are gonna be exposed, I'll need to update my tetanus booster.
Penny: Oh, yeah. Makes sense.
Sheldon: Yeah. And while I'm there, I may as well get a flu shot and a mole check.
Penny: Sure. You know, I've never had a mole check.
Sheldon: Ooh! Well, it's been nice knowing you.

Sheldon: So, I-I finally came upon a bus bench where I sat and removed one of my shirts and, uh, fashioned it into a makeshift shoe. Not a waterproof shoe. That is relevant to the next part of my story, the ankle-deep puddle of warm apple juice.
Amy: Apple juice?
Sheldon: Maybe, maybe not. I'm telling myself a lot of things, Amy.

Sheldon: Okay, new business. Do we grant Laid-back Sheldon a seat on the council?
Laid-back Sheldon: Hey, whatever you guys want. I'm just chillin' like Bob Dylan.

Penny: Is it possible that the sleep-talking is a part of your brain that's telling you everything's gonna be okay and you just need to relax a little?
Sheldon: So you're proposing that the self is an illusion, and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness that are communicating with one another?
Penny: In laymen's terms, yeah.
Sheldon: Huh. Interesting. So you don't believe there's a Cartesian self that underlies the flux of experience?
Penny: Maybe in my twenties, not anymore.

Amy: Well, as much as we've studied the brain, there's still a lot we don't know about dreams and their function. You know, even psychologists are divided on it.
Leonard: Mm, it's true. Freud thought dreams were about sex, Adler thought they were about dominance-
Penny: Then again, mine are just about being married to this little guy.
Leonard: Well, now it's just edging into mockery.

Raj: Hello. Rajesh.
Stuart: Stuart.
Ruchi: Hi. Ruchi.
Bernadette: Ruchi is my coworker. But that was probably in your briefing packet.