Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.

Penny: Is it possible that you're stressed because you're scared about getting married? I mean, it is a big change, and you're not good with little changes.
Sheldon: Well, that's nonsense. You name one little change I was upset with.
Penny: Uh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple.
Sheldon: That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting.

Howard: It's a date. Just pick one.
Sheldon: It's not just a date, it's a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date. Just like there's a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.
Penny: Mm. There's no perfect dessert.
Sheldon: Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You'll see. You'll have it at our wedding.
Amy: You wanna bet?

Sheldon: Why can't there just be one week each month for famous people to die?
Amy: Well, they've already arranged to die in threes. What more do you want from them?

Sheldon: You give me enough time, I can do the same thing with a wedding date. It needs to be on the weekend, uh, not near any of your birthdays, or the weekend of Comic Con.
Leonard: Ooh, you could get married at Comic Con.
Amy, Penny and Bernadette: No!

Amy: So, it's strange, Sheldon was talking in his sleep last night, and he seemed like a totally different person. He was relaxed and loose and calm.
Leonard: Well, Sheldon's a complicated man.
Amy: He said "whatev."
Leonard: Give him a brain scan, that might be a tumor.

Penny: Is it possible that the sleep-talking is a part of your brain that's telling you everything's gonna be okay and you just need to relax a little?
Sheldon: So you're proposing that the self is an illusion, and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness that are communicating with one another?
Penny: In laymen's terms, yeah.
Sheldon: Huh. Interesting. So you don't believe there's a Cartesian self that underlies the flux of experience?
Penny: Maybe in my twenties, not anymore.

Sheldon: When the toupee licked my hand I screamed and hopped down the street on my remaining flip-flop.
Amy: Can I just ask?
Sheldon: No, this is a long story. Why don't we please save your questions till the end?

Amy: Is there anything I can do to help?
Sheldon: Yes. I want you to be in charge of our wedding. Just you tell me where and when, and I will show up with a boutonnire and close-toed shoes and a a Star Trek uniform underneath my tuxedo. That last part is non-negotiable.

Sheldon: I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order. Let's take roll. Science Sheldon?
Science Sheldon: Present.
Sheldon: Texas Sheldon?
Texas Sheldon: Howdy.
Sheldon: Fanboy Sheldon?
Fanboy Sheldon: Greetings.
Sheldon: Germaphobe Sheldon?
Germaphobe Sheldon: Say it, don't spray it.
Humorous Sheldon: Where's Jock Sheldon?
Sheldon: Not the time, Humorous Sheldon!

Stuart: I can't believe you went behind my back!
Raj: Which clearly means I want this more!
Stuart: You want to play a game of "who's more desperate" with me? 'Cause you're in the big leagues now, Bucko.

Amy: We just need a weekend date that's completely boring and uneventful.
Bernadette: Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row, 'cause tonight would have been perfect.

Amy: I thought we agreed on June 15.
Sheldon: That's the day after Flag Day. Everyone'll be partied out.

Sheldon: Well, I found the perfect wedding date.
Amy: That's terrific!
Sheldon: No, it's not. It was May 19, 1996. We would have had a lovely wedding. And our honeymoon would have coincided with the first appearance of the Hale-Bopp comet.
Amy: Sheldon, you were 16.
Sheldon: And in Texas. No one would have batted an eye. Oh, wait, it's no good. That's the day that Jon Pertwee, the third Doctor Who, died.
Amy: And it's in the past.
Sheldon: Hey-hey, I said it's no good. Just let it go.

Sheldon: Some news of our wedding. I have sent you all a "save the date" e-mail.
Penny: Oh, exciting. You guys picked a date?
Sheldon: Better. I picked 80 dates. And I need you to save them all until we narrow it down.