Raj: I hope there's nothing disturbing on there.
Bernadette: Like you two in a hot tub?

Raj: Oh, oh! Let's play William Tell. I'll put this bowl on my head. See if you can knock it off without hitting me.
Howard: You read my mind.
Bernadette: What are you doing?
Howard: Either breaking a bowl or breaking Raj's head.
Bernadette: Be careful, they don't make that bowl anymore.

Bernadette: Aren't you worried there's some kid out there missing his drone?
Raj: Oh, please. This is not a children's toy. This thing's got an HD camera on it.
Bernadette: Aren't you worried that there's some rich peeping tom out there missing his drone?

Penny: All right, I'm putting a stop to this.
Bernadette: If you knew how, why'd you wait 11 years?

Bernadette: Can I get you anything? Juice box? 'nanas?
Amy: 'nanas?
Bernadette: Sorry. Mom brain. I think I've forgot how to talk to grown-ups. I meant Ba-nanas.

Bernadette: You know what? I don't want to be one of those moms who can only talk about her kids.
Amy: Okay, well, I'm reading a pretty good book. It's the untold story of female artists during the Renaissance.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm in the middle of a book, too. It's three pages long and floats in the bath.

Amy: You want to take a break and maybe get something to eat?
Bernadette: Sure.
Amy: Why does it not feel like we're going?
Bernadette: Hang on, I-I just want to see if Bob can fix it. (chuckles) Yes, he can!

Amy: Well, these are positive changes. Studies with rats show that new mothers are more sensitive to danger, better at multitasking and bolder in the pursuit of food.
Bernadette: I did stick a couple lamp chops in my purse.
Amy: So that's what I was smelling.

Bernadette: God. What's happening? I'm a smart, educated, successful...
Amy: "Woman"?
Bernadette: I was gonna get it.

Bernadette: The sun is losing about six times ten to the 12th grams per second, so the fraction of the mass it loses every year is about ten to the negative 13th. But don't worry. It'll be millions of years before we all freeze to death. Sweet dreams.

Amy: Don't be so hard on yourself. Pregnancy and childbirth actually cause physical changes to the structure of your brain.
Bernadette: I liked the old structure of my brain. But then, I liked a lot of my old structures.

Bernadette: Evolution gave me this mom brain to focus on the baby, but I figure I can hack it to learn all kinds of new things.
Howard: Well, that's great.
Bernadette: Yeah. There was a problem, and I fixed it.
Howard: Like Bob the Builder in that giraffe cage.
Bernadette: Spoiler alert. I didn't see that one yet.

Amy: Look, even though your brain is different, in many ways, it's better.
Bernadette: But were you bored?
Amy: Of course not.
Bernadette: You're lying.
Amy: Which you can tell, because your maternal brain is better at sensing nonverbal cues.
Bernadette: Now you're just being condescending.
Amy: Look at you, two for two.

Amy: So, what are we watching?
Bernadette: Bob the Builder. I'll catch you up. That one's Bob. He's a builder.
Amy: Isn't this a kids show?
Bernadette: It's what we watch in this house. Bob the Builder, Dinosaur Train, and Peppa Pig, which is both funny and meaningful.

Bernadette: Evolution gave me this mom brain to focus on the baby, but I figure I can hack it to learn all kinds of new things.