Penny: Okay, look, would it make you feel better if I did something dumb like sneak out of work one day to go audition for a Kevin Smith movie?
Leonard: That would be great, thank you!
Wil Wheaton: I'm just going to jump in here real quick. Leonard, a moment ago, you were dead set against Penny resuming her acting career, but now you're all for it. Is it fair to say that she played you like a violin?
Leonard: Yes, it is, Wil.

Wil Wheaton: You know that the movie actually has a little bit of a cult following.
Penny: Really?
Wil Wheaton: Yeah. I was at a science-fiction convention, and I saw a woman dressed as your half-ape character.
Leonard: Oh, if she was with an Indian guy dressed like a banana, that was just my friends, Howard and Raj.

Penny: What is the harm if I audition?
Leonard: Well, what if you get it?
Penny: I don't know, I make a movie, we could become rich and famous, win an Oscar, a Golden Globe and live an incredibly wonderful life.
Leonard: From a Kevin Smith movie?

Penny: Okay, instead of protecting me, why don't you try being excited when something good happens?
Leonard: I'm always excited for you. I'm excited that you found this new job where you're making decent money.
Penny: Decent? I make twice what you make.
Leonard: Wait, twice?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: Like times two, twice?

Penny: Leonard, why are you making such a big deal out of this? So our roles have changed a bit over the last couple of years. That's the way life is. And I'm sure, in time, they'll change again.
Leonard: Great. Not only are you more successful than me. Now you're more mature.

Kevin Smith: I'm actually in pre-production on a movie right now. Way different than anything I've ever done before. It's called Clerks 3. You should come over and read for a part.
Penny: Oh, my, I would love that.
Leonard: You have a new job.
Penny: Well, maybe I can do both.
Leonard: I don't think you can do both.
Penny: I don't think I asked you.
Kevin Smith: Yeah, you tell him, Penny.
Leonard: Stay out of it, Kevin Smith.

Sheldon: Are you still mad at me?
Leonard: Yes. We missed our lecture, we were almost arrested, and you got me locked in a room with a man who forced his tongue down the throat of a stuffed Wookiee.

Sheldon: Do you think they're gonna call the police?
Leonard: I don't know. Maybe they'll call Imperial Officers to take us to a holding cell on the Death Star.
Sheldon: I think that's below the pay grade of an Imperial Officer. Storm troopers would really be the ones-
Leonard: Oh, shut up!

Sheldon: All right, we have defeated the first challenge. Now we must steel ourselves to face the monster who defends the gate.
Leonard: We're trying to get past a security guard. Not rescue Zelda.

Leonard: We don't have an appointment. And we don't belong here, but we're like crazy big fans. Crazy for Star Wars crazy, not like we have a backpack full of duct tape. Although we do have a backpack that you really don't want to look in.

Sheldon: Leonard, I've been working on an opening joke for our lecture at Berkeley.
Leonard: Oh, I like to laugh. But say it anyway.

Sheldon: I just restocked the old PRK.
Penny: PRK?
Leonard: Public Restroom Kit. Everything a boy needs for making pee-pee in new and strange places.

Leonard: I know shopping cheers you up, but it's not really my thing.
Penny: Well, how about this helicopter you control with an iPad?
Leonard: Does it have a camera in it?
Penny: It does have a camera in it.
Leonard: Baby's listening.

Leonard: He always needs all the attention. He's such a baby.
Penny: I know. I know.
Leonard: I swear he is never playing with my helicopter.

Leonard: I got you something for Valentine's Day and I was too embarrassed to give it to you.
Penny: Why?
Leonard: Because I got it at the dirty store.
Penny: You went to the dirty store without me?
Leonard: In sun glasses and a hat after I parked two blocks away.