Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 1 of 53

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Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Penny: All right, this is making me crazy. Somebody's got to go over there.
Leonard: You got feet and legs, you do it.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: She's clearly having a working lunch and preferred to eat alone.
Ramona Nowitzki: Dr. Cooper, over here.
Raj: I could have made her very happy.
Leonard: You kept walking. I think you did.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: It's unbelievable. Sheldon has lunch with another woman and somehow my wife yells at me.
Leonard: Penny laid into me, too. Apparently, I'm overly fixated on premium Swiss chocolate bars.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Raj: Can you even eat those things?
Leonard: If I take a Lactaid a half-hour before and some Pepto right after.
Raj: Sounds like a lot of work.
Leonard: Eh, I'm worth it.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: How's Sheldon doing with Amy gone?
Leonard: Well, the last three nights I've had to take him to get a haircut, to the train store, and to a Walgreens in Arcadia where they still have the "good ibuprofen." Now, ask me how I'm doing with Amy gone.
Raj: How are you doing with-
Leonard: Shut up.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Leonard: Tonight he wants to look at ladders at Home Depot.
Raj: Oh, why does he need a ladder?
Leonard: He doesn't; he just likes looking at them. Bring a book.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Leonard: So, are you excited to have your own place again?
Raj: I am, but I'll miss you guys.
Leonard: Ah, we'll miss you, too.
Raj: Well, you could try saying that without smiling.
Leonard: I'm trying. This is the best I can do.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Sheldon: The Air Force did it again. They're erasing our lives!
Leonard: Third floor, wrong apartment.
Howard: Although, if anyone's gonna clean out your apartment and disappear, it'd be Penny.
Leonard: She might disappear, but she's definitely not cleaning anything.

Quote from the episode The Gyroscopic Collapse

Iris scanner: Leonard Hofstadter. Access granted.
Leonard: Hmm. I don't care if this thing's burning out my retinas; it makes me feel special.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Howard: So you told her she was being dumb?
Leonard: No, I told her she was being not smart. Which was dumb.
Raj: Why did you even go to dinner with the guy?
Leonard: We covered this, I'm dumb.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: See, that wasn't so bad. He even picked up the check.
Leonard: Yeah. Although, when he was trying to figure out the tip, I'm pretty sure I saw smoke coming out of his ears.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Zack: So, Penny, what's going on with you? How's the job?
Penny: Uh, it's okay, I'm still in pharmaceutical sales.
Leonard: She's doing amazing. She can actually make a side effect, like 10% chance of liver failure, sound like a 90% chance of liver success.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Penny: Come on, I spent an entire plane ride with you talking about the trailer for Deadpool 2.
Leonard: Ha! I knew you weren't asleep.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Sheldon: I've been thinking about our recent humiliation.
Leonard: You're gonna have to be more specific.
Sheldon: At the hands of those teenagers.
Leonard: More.
Sheldon: Boy teenagers.
Leonard: Oh, the video game. Yeah, that was bad.

Quote from the episode The Cognition Regeneration

Leonard: How is super-aging any different than, like, doing crossword puzzles?
Sheldon: Well, it's not just doing simple cognitive tasks. You need to push your brain out of its comfort zone and reach mental exhaustion.
Leonard: I drive you to work every day, my brain must look like the Hulk.

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