Leonard: Always wanted to be the principal investigator on a plasma physics study.
Sheldon: Hey, look at that. The new you's funny, too.
Leonard: I'm serious. You know I'm gonna put together a proposal and tell President Siebert this is what I want to do. If he doesn't let me, there's plenty of other universities that will.
Sheldon: Sure there are. [winks]

Leonard: Well, all these years, I-I was afraid to say what I wanted. You know, even at work, you know, there's things I want to accomplish, but I didn't want to ruffle any feathers or step on any toes.
Sheldon: Feathers and toes? Is the new thing you're trying to accomplish ballroom dancing with a chicken? Look at that. The new me is hilarious.

Leonard: Well, if you don't approve of my driving, too bad. This is the new me. Get used to it.
Sheldon: Fine. Then this is the new me, and he finds the new you tiresome.
Leonard: How is that different than the old you?
Sheldon: The new me gives knowing winks. [winks]

Sheldon: Leonard, where are you going?
Leonard: Well, to work. Just trying out a different route.
Sheldon: Okay. If we cross the county line, it's technically kidnapping.

Sheldon: Gee, I'm sorry, I didn't watch the news today. Has the whole world gone mad?
Leonard: It's my house. I'm tired of being told where I can and can't sit.
Sheldon: [to Penny] You did this. Amy, grab your meat. We're leaving in a huff.
Amy: I'm sorry, if I don't go now, it's not a huff.

Amy: It's fine. We'll have barbecue.
Sheldon: Oh, of course. I'm nothing if not flexible. I'm sure that at some point in the 3,000-year history of the Chinese empire, a cavalryman crossing the Gobi Desert was forced by hunger to eat his own horse and roast it over a campfire, hence, Chinese barbecue.

Leonard: Um, I picked it. You're the one who told me to stop being such a satisficer all the time.
Sheldon: What? I did not. I just pointed out that you were one. It's what I like best about you. Well, that and those little notes you leave in my lunch.
Amy: I leave those!
Sheldon: Well, that's disappointing. I already know that you heart me. Now I don't know if Leonard does.

Leonard: I'm just trying to find a plan that makes everyone happy.
Amy: Except you.
Bernadette: Yeah, Leonard. What would make you happy?
Sheldon: I could tell you about satisficing again.
Leonard: You know, what would make me happy is if we just stop talking about this and see whatever movie you guys want to see whenever you want to see it.
Sheldon: Okay. But next time, we get to pick.

Penny: No. Sweetie, you shouldn't do things that make you feel bad.
Leonard: Well, I'm doing this.
Sheldon: And of course he is. He is a textbook satisficer.
Leonard: That's not even a word.
Sheldon: Uh, yes, it is. According to Nobel Prize-winning economist Herbert Simon, satisficing is a decision-making strategy whereby a person accepts whatever available option is satisfactory rather than seeking out a course of action that would make him happiest, as I just did when I explained what satisficing was.
Raj: He's right. No one wanted to hear that. He knew it, yet he plowed ahead.

Sheldon: [sings] Soft kitty, warm kitty, Little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, Purr, purr, purr.
Amy: That helps.
Sheldon: Shh, I'm singing.

Amy: Sheldon, whatever you're doing, I-I don't have time for it right now.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. I know you're upset, but I don't know how to make it better.
Amy: I don't know how you can, either. I mean, I don't know if anybody can. I just-- I feel like I'm letting everybody down.
Sheldon: I'm about to hold you. Would you like to smell my hand first?
Amy: I'm fine.

Sheldon: Amy. Thank goodness you're home. I don't know if you can tell, but I am literally losing my mind.
Amy: You are?
Sheldon: Isn't it obvious? I just used "literally" figuratively. Like a crazy person.

Penny: Sheldon, maybe you don't know what to do because Amy's always taking care of you.
Sheldon: Of course. And by calming down, I've taken away the one thing that gives her comfort: caring for me.
Penny: That's what you heard?
Sheldon: Yes. I need to have an emotional meltdown so she's forced to focus on me and forget about herself.
Leonard: No. Th-That's not even close to what-- Uh, you know, actually, that might be your best move.

Sheldon: You know, I know she's unhappy, but I don't know how to help.
Leonard: Maybe you can't. Sometimes people are upset, and all you can do is be there for them.
Sheldon: And while I'm there, what do I do?
Leonard: Nothing.
Sheldon: Oh, so like what you're doing right now to help me.
Leonard: You're up.

Sheldon: Hang on.
Amy: What-what are you doing?
Sheldon: I'm googling what to do when someone's freaking out. Huh. Uh, whoa, it says here that a walk can be calming. Bye.