Quotes from ‘The Septum Deviation’

The Septum Deviation

'The Septum Deviation' - Season 8, Episode 9

Sheldon is troubled when Leonard decides to get minor surgery on his nose. Meanwhile, Raj is distraught when he finds out his parents have divorced on the eve of their 40th wedding anniversary.

Air Date: November 13, 2014.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I'm sorry I'm so late. I was on the phone with my mother.
Bernadette: How is she?
Raj: Pretty good. She bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love", and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: I love that you take pride in your looks. Even when I have to pee in the morning and you're in there spending an hour on your hair.
Howard: I love that you're too good to pee in the kitchen sink.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: It's sweet that you care about him so much.
Sheldon: I do. And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to him, and I wasn't at his bedside to say "I told you so".

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy, you're a microbiologist. Get in there and spray some raid.

Quote from Raj

Raj: So, what's up with you guys?
Howard: We're just saying all the things we love about each other.
Raj: Oh, like you and I did at couple's therapy?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I ordered it before you had surgery. It's the urn I was going to put you in.
Penny: Okay, that's morbid. Send it back.
Sheldon: I can't send it back. I had it engraved. "Here lie the ashes of Leonard Hofstadter. He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better."

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wow, I don't know which hurts more. My nose or my heart.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I've learned that 1 in 700,000 people die from general anesthesia.
Leonard: But do you realize that means 699,999 people don't die?
Sheldon: I suppose that's true. You're such a glass half full kind of guy. I'm going to miss that.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: This is an easy one. You love this guy.
Sheldon: Me.
Amy: Come on. He's an under appreciated genius.
Sheldon: Still think it's me.
Amy: It's not you. Now think, there's a car named after him.
Sheldon: Of course there is. The Mini Cooper because it's me.
Amy: How about this? He's a poor man's Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon: Oh, Tesla.

Quote from Penny

Amy: Don't be like that. You two need to talk this out.
Penny: Yeah, because you sound really funny.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It's an earthquake. I knew it.
Penny: Sheldon, it's just a little tremor.
Sheldon: A little tremor that turns routine sinus surgery into a frontal lobotomy.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Buddy, I get that you're worried about me and I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die.
Sheldon: You don't know that.
Leonard: I do know that it won't be from an asteroid strike.
Sheldon: You know who else said that? Every cocky T-Rex currently swimming around in the gas tank of your car.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: You're acting odd. Why?
Amy: I'm odd all the time. Everyone knows that. Just last night, I tried to see how many Fava beans I could fit in my mouth.
Sheldon: Tell me the truth.
Amy: 28.
Sheldon: Come on.
Amy: 56.

Quote from Penny

Sheldon: Why would you have surgery?
Leonard: Because I can't breathe. I snore. I get sinus infections.
Penny: Back off, he's all mine.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I assume this medical center's already treated the burns on your bottom from the recent pants fire.
Penny: Cause I'm a liar, liar?
Sheldon: That's for the Fire Marshall to determine.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: I love that I'm a slob around here and you're kinda okay with that.
Bernadette: Uh-huh. And I love that I work and do all the cleaning and you're okay with that.

Quote from Raj

Raj: How can I be okay? I come from a broken home!

Quote from Howard

Howard: I really don't like how your wings poke me when we sleep because you're an angel.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Raj's parents probably split up because of Raj.
Bernadette: What?
Howard: You always say the children aren't to blame, but (holds up a Raj coaster; chuckles) come on!

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: I was not panicked, and I am not overly attached to Leonard.
Leonard: You were so worried that you smashed your face trying to check on me. You looove me.

Quote from Amy

Penny: When Leonard comes out, he is not gonna feel great, so please don't give him a hard time.
Amy: Penny has a good point. This is like the man in the supermarket with the goiter on his neck. Whatever you're thinking, just keep it to yourself.
Sheldon: It was like a grapefruit.
Amy: And I'm sure he knew that before you held a grapefruit up next to it!

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