Quotes from ‘The Big Bear Precipitation’

The Big Bear Precipitation

'The Big Bear Precipitation' - Season 9, Episode 20

Sheldon spills a secret of Leonard's when the two take a weekend cabin trip with Penny and Amy. Also, when Koothrappali goes overboard with pregnancy gifts, Wolowitz and Bernadette must draw the line.

Air Date: April 7, 2016.

Quote from Amy

Penny: I'll see if it's available.
Amy: You know, if that study's real, Leonard might come back smarter than you.
Sheldon: Are you trying to manipulate me?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Well done, it worked, we're going.
Amy: Yay!

Quote from Howard

Howard: I didn't know you needed help running errands today.
Bernadette: I didn't, but Raj volunteered.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: Yeah, ever since you told him I was pregnant, he's really been making a fuss over me.
Howard: Oh. Well, I guess that's kind of sweet.
Raj: Bernie, I just forwarded you a list of the top five lactation consultants in Los Angeles. I know my favourite, but I'd love to hear what you think.
Howard: And it just got weird.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Of course. I'll give you guys some space. Let me just get this out of your way. (Raj fumbles around trying to move the gigantic teddy bear. He knocks over various objects in Howard & Bernadette's living room)
Howard: You need some help?
Raj: No, I got it.
Bernadette: Raj, Raj, wait.
Raj: Please, Bernadette. Let me leave with my dignity. (Raj falls over the teddy bear as he tries to move it out the door)

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Sheldon, what did you do?
Sheldon: Well, I'm not proud of it, but I jaywalked.
Leonard: Oh, no, it's like a horror movie. We're trapped in a cabin with a maniac!

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: (Hearing their baby's heartbeat) Wait, that's it.
Raj: Wow.
Bernadette: Isn't that the best?
Raj: You guys made a person.
Howard: We did.
Raj: And I like to think I helped.
Howard: You didn't.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It's nice to get back to nature. Why don't I do this more often? What a beautiful forest. Hello, little butterfly. What's your na -- Oh!
Leonard: What'cha doing?
Sheldon: I was enjoying some virtual reality, until you ruined it with your actual face.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Why are you pretending to be outdoors? You hate it.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy showed me a compelling study that demonstrated the cognitive benefit of spending time in the wilderness.
Leonard: Buddy, I am ready to drive you into the wilderness any time you want and leave you there.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, make your jokes, but some of the participants who spent four days in the woods away from all technology reported a fifty percent gain in reasoning skills upon their return.
Penny: Okay, if that's true, why aren't there more genius squirrels?
Sheldon: (Hands Penny the virtual reality headset) You may need this more than I do.

Quote from Raj

Bernadette: Come on, Raj, give me a bag.
Raj: No, no, you're pregnant. The only thing you carry is our hope for a better tomorrow.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Hey, where you been?
Bernadette: Uh, Raj took me to the baby doctor and then we swung by the grocery store.
Howard: Did you get graham crackers? I mean, are - uh, is the baby okay?

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hey. Amy's downstairs.
Leonard: Okay, one sec.
Penny: Uh, what, what you got goin' on here?
Leonard: I bought a baseball cap.
Penny: I can see that. What team did you get?
Leonard: Uh, Hufflepuff, from Harry Potter.
Penny: Well, we'll be in the woods.

Quote from Howard

Howard: What the hell are you watching?
Bernadette: Raj found all these childbirth videos online. This one is of a woman giving birth in a river.
Howard: Okay, that is the least Jewish thing I've ever seen in my life.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Well, cell service is down to one bar, so if anyone needs medical attention or to tell a stranger their political views are stupid, now's the time.
Amy: Have you ever been off the grid before?
Sheldon: Once. The battery ran out on my phone. I had to wait for my iPad to turn on.
Leonard: I was afraid he was gonna eat me.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: He's just trying to be supportive.
Howard: Just supportive. Not over-the-top in any way?
Bernadette: No.
Raj: Hello. (Raj walks in with a gigantic teddy bear)
Bernadette: You saw him carrying that?
Howard: Astronauts saw him carrying that.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Okay. Well, shall we check each other for ticks?
Amy: Sheldon, all we did was walk in from the car.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, suit yourself. Who wants to check me?
Amy: On the other hand, safety first.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Wow, it's really coming down.
Penny: This sucks.
Leonard: And there goes our hike.
Sheldon: Oh, not our hike, now we have to stay safe and warm!

Quote from Leonard

Penny: You know, we could still go. A little rain isn't gonna kill us.
Leonard: Have you been outside in the rain with Sheldon?
Penny: No.
Leonard: You'll wish it would kill you.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Hey, let's light a fire.
Amy: Ooh, that sounds cozy.
Leonard: I don't think I've lit a real fire before.
Sheldon: Ah, it's basic thermodynamics. I'm sure we can figure that out.
Leonard: I could stack the logs conically to facilitate airflow.
Sheldon: That would maximize oxygen for optimal combustion.
Leonard: Right. So all we need is to...
Penny: Got it.
Leonard: A scientist made that.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: Hey, you guys want to play a drinking game?
Sheldon: Oh, well now, we'll never win. You always play the drinking game.
Penny: Not the drinking game, a drinking game.
Leonard: To be fair, good at both.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay. Calm down. I'll go first. All right, lets see. Never have I ever...
Amy: She's trying to think of something she's never done before. This could take a while.
Penny: Very funny. Okay, never have I ever ... yeah, you know what? Let's just circle back.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Okay, I'll go. Never have I ever been arrested.
Sheldon: So I drink.
Amy: No, it's only if you've done it.
Sheldon: Got it.
Amy: I can't believe you've been arrested.
Sheldon: I can't believe Penny hasn't.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: I'm surprised you would do that.
Sheldon: No, I crossed in the middle of the street. And normally, I wouldn't, but I saw an aggressive-looking Girl Scout, and it was the heart of cookie season. Anyway, there was a police officer, and he witnessed the whole thing.
Penny: What, he arrested you for that?
Sheldon: No, he didn't do anything. So I said, you just saw me jaywalk, why aren't you doing your job? You know, maybe I should arrest you for impersonating a police officer.
Penny: And then you got arrested.
Sheldon: Oh, and how!

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: What? Are you gonna cry?
Bernadette: Yeah.
Howard: Is it baby hormones or actually sad?
Bernadette: I can't tell anymore.
Howard: I'll go get him.
Bernadette: And bring back the bear!

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: This game's dangerous. I could get you in trouble.
Penny: How?
Leonard: Well, never have I ever used Sheldon's toothbrush to clean the sink.
Penny: Fine, is that how you want to play this? All right, never have I ever come up with a nickname for my own genitals.
Leonard: Never should've told you about Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Quote from Leonard

Amy: Okay. My turn. Um, never have I ever completely rocked my girlfriend's world in bed.
Sheldon: Amy!
Amy: You know the rules. Drink.
Penny: (Leonard looks to Penny for approval) Yeah, go ahead.
Leonard: (To Sheldon and Amy) That's right.

Quote from Bernadette

Raj: I appreciate the apology, but it's really not necessary. I overstepped my bounds.
Howard: No, Raj, you've been great. I just, I need to start doing my part around here.
Bernadette: I hear that.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Well, if that's the case, is there anything I can do to help?
Howard: Well, not right now. But we could try out that microphone you got us, and listen to the baby's heartbeat.
Raj: Really? It's okay if I listen with you?
Bernadette: Of course.
Raj: Can I squirt the ultrasound jelly on your stomach?
Howard: Hey, look at that. It's weird again.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Okay, you have every right to be mad. And what you said is true. You do make more money than me. So I had no right to do what I did. And I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.
Penny: How long have you had this secret account?
Leonard: A couple years, but I just put a few bucks aside every month for emergencies.
Penny: Well, how much you got in there?
Leonard: Six thousand, four hundred and twenty-seven dollars. Forty-seven dollars once my nana's birthday check gets here.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: I love you.
Penny: I love you, too.
Leonard: You know, never have I ever made love in the forest while it was raining.
Penny: Well, guess I gotta drink.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Oh, never have I ever drunk milk past its expiration date.
Amy: Never have I ever canceled a dentist appointment.
Sheldon: Oh, uh, never have I ever put my foot in the ocean.
Amy: Never have I ever honked if I liked anything.
Sheldon: Oh, uh, never have I ever thrown, caught or touched a Frisbee.
Amy: Never have I ever put salt on my food without trying it first.
Sheldon: Oh. Never have I ever pushed all the buttons in an elevator.
Amy: Well, we all have a past.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: What am I smelling?
Sheldon: Oh, it's car air freshener. I was simulating the smell of the forest.
Penny: That's not what the forest smells like.
Sheldon: Well, how would I know?

Quote from Penny

Penny: You know, there's a cabin in Big Bear that a doctor I work with keeps offering me.
Leonard: Because he's hitting on you?
Penny: She.
Leonard: Oh, good.
Penny: But I could get her.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: We could all go for the weekend. It'll be fun.
Sheldon: Excuse me. (Gets up and hands Amy a dictionary) Here, look up fun, get back to me.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: You and I could still go and have a nice weekend.
Penny: Sure.
Amy: Come on, Sheldon, let's go with them.
Sheldon: I hardly think so. You be sure and say hello to all the mosquitoes, bees, bears, snakes, possums, poison oak, oh, and last, but not least, teenagers with guitars.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: You feel like Raj is getting a little carried away with all the baby stuff?
Bernadette: I don't think so. He just wants to be part of the experience.
Howard: All right, if you say so. What's in the box?
Bernadette: Oh, it's an ultrasonic microphone so we can hear the baby's heartbeat.
Howard: Oh. That's cool. Can we try it?
Bernadette: Actually, Raj ordered it. He made me promise to wait till he was here.
Howard: So he can be part of the experience?
Bernadette: Yeah.
Howard: I'm surprised he let us conceive without him.
Bernadette: It's a sore spot, don't bring it up.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: It's so cute and rustic up here.
Leonard: I know. Did you see they still have a video rental place? It's like colonial Williamsburg.

Quote from Penny

Penny: This place is great.
Leonard: So nice of that doctor to just let you use it.
Penny: Well, she is taking me to an Indigo Girls concert, so hold that thought.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: So what do we do now?
Leonard: They have some board games.
Sheldon: Eh, most of the Jenga pieces are missing and the Scrabble only has seven tiles, so unless you want to build an unimpressive structure with the word schnerf next to it, move on.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: What's the game?
Penny: All right, it's called Never Have I Ever. The rules are simple. Someone says something they've never done, but if you have done it, you take a drink.
Leonard: I've never played that before.
Sheldon: Hey, now, wait. Have we started? Do I drink? What is happening?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: All right, my turn. Mm. Oh, I know. Never have I ever kept a secret bank account, because I think my wife can't handle money.
Did I win? I feel like I won.
Penny: I can't believe this. You realize I make more money than you?
Leonard: I don't - I know, but this isn't a big deal. It's just a little savings I put aside.
Penny: We're married. We're supposed to share everything.
Leonard: What, you mean, like, your massive credit card debt?
Sheldon: I'm calling it. I won.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: My God, Leonard, do you know what I could do with that kind of money?
Leonard: No, I do, and that's why I hid it.
Penny: What good is it if you don't use it?
Leonard: Uh, you have shoes you love, but never wear. I have money I love, but never spend. We're kind of a cute couple that way.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Again, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept it a secret.
Penny: Well, I have a secret I've been keeping from you, too.
Leonard: Is it a secret bank account? Because that would be awesome.

Quote from Leonard

Penny: I hate my job.
Leonard: Really? Why?
Penny: Because I don't feel good flirting with doctors for sales. I mean, I know I make a lot of money. But I haven't been happy for a while.
Leonard: Why didn't you tell me?
Penny: Because I know how important it is to you that I'm having some success.
Leonard: That's not true.
Penny: Okay, really? So you'd be fine if I went back to acting and waiting tables again?
Leonard: If that's what you want to do, yes.
Penny: Well, it's not what I want to do.
Leonard: Oh, yes.

Quote from Raj

Howard: All right, here we go.
Bernadette: I'm not hearing anything.
Howard: Well, give me a second.
Raj: Are you sure you can do this?
Howard: Hey, who found four dollars and change on the beach with his metal detector?
Raj: I buried it there so we could go home.

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