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Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Locomotion Reverberation

Amy: Is there anything we can do?
Bernadette: Sure. Open up a college fund, shop for life insurance, and in the laundry room, there's a mountain of dirty laundry. Wash it or burn in, your choice.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Leonard: So you're gonna throw me under the bus?
Penny: Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard, I might actually win a stuffed animal.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Penny: You know, how is this any different from you making me live with Sheldon?
Sheldon: Hey! I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.
Penny: You gave me a bill at the end of every month.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Leonard: What's going on with that woman you're dating?
Raj: I broke up with her.
Leonard: Why?
Raj: She said she didn't want to see me anymore and I found that insulting.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Leonard: He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny: He didn't know it 'til he was cuffed, but yeah.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Leonard: Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Sheldon: Now, when the robots rise up, they'll know that I've been rooting for them the whole time.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Raj: Maybe I'll just play the field.
Howard: Yeah, the field was just here. The field said no.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Emotion Detection Automation

Sheldon: Of course you're fine. Not every member of a species finds a mate. Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin. Look at the contributions he made.
Raj: I'm not a virgin, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Wha- So now you think you're better than Isaac Newton?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Romance Recalibration

Amy: Aww, I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the "no nostalgia" clause.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Romance Recalibration

Leonard: I would pull this car over and kick you out, but if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Romance Recalibration

Sheldon: At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard: Because we just spent our allowance on comic books.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Romance Recalibration

Penny: Pink wine and pizza bagels? It's like eighth grade all over again.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Romance Recalibration

Penny: Is it normal for the husband to kind of completely stop giving a crap?
Bernadette: Uh-oh, what's going on?
Penny: Well, Leonard used to do all these things, like bring me flowers and wear pants.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Romance Recalibration

Howard: Yeah, got to get her hooked on TV, or someday, she'll want me to play outside.

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