Bernadette: So Leonard's really considering this?
Penny: Yes. We got in a huge fight about it. He said, well, if I don't want to have his baby, then why shouldn't someone else be able to? Do you believe that? What?
Bernadette: Well, there is a deep-seated biological drive to pass on your genes. It's only natural.
Penny: So you're on his side?
Amy: Well, viewing Leonard as a mammal, it's perfectly understandable.
Bernadette: But viewing him as your husband, he stinks.
Amy: And we hate him.

Amy: All right, on today's episode, we're gonna start with some viewer e-mails.
Sheldon: Oh, take off your glasses so people can't see your password in the reflection.
Amy: Oh, s-sure. Okay, our first e-mail is- mm- from uh, Brad or Brian? I don't know, maybe it's Seth.
Sheldon: All right, put them back on.

Sheldon: Okay, what is the setback on property lines in this neighborhood?
Bernadette: Oh, I don't know.
Sheldon: It must be on the permit from when you built your deck.
Bernadette: Uh, yeah, my dad built this. We didn't do the whole permit thing.
Amy: Here we go.

Amy: Why are you trying to avoid having sex?
Sheldon: Well, we just did it three weeks ago.
Amy: I was talking to Leonard!

Amy: Well, I have seen that movie one or seven times, and trust me, it is magic.

Bernadette: You are so funny, Wil.
Penny: We were just talking about how funny you are.
Wil Wheaton: Yeah, Leonard told you, didn't he?
Penny: Yeah.
Amy: Mm-hmm.
Bernadette: Yup.
Wil Wheaton: Manganiello?
Amy: Uh-huh.
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Bernadette: Mm-hmm.
Wil Wheaton: Feel good about yourselves?
Penny: Nope.
Bernadette: No.
Amy: Yeah. Oh, we're going with no? No.

Amy: So apparently, if we win, I'll be the fourth woman ever to win a Nobel in physics.
Penny: Wow, that's a big deal.
Amy: Yeah, tell me about it. This morning, I blew through my antiperspirant in, like, an hour.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, but this is, it's hard for me.Usually I self-soothe by doing science, but now science reminds me of the Nobel Prize and the idea that we may not win one, and that makes me angry, which makes me want to self-soothe by doing science, and on and on and on.
Amy: So that's been my today.

Penny: Hey, how about a massage? No, the only person who touches me is my wife.
Amy: And even I have to let him smell my hand first.

Amy: [inner monologue] Wow, this is really dark. There's no difference between my eyes being open or closed. Open, closed. Open, clo- Nope, same thing.

Amy: That's great. I'm so happy for you.
Sheldon: Uh, yeah, a little constructive criticism: You're saying you're happy, but you're using your mean voice.
Amy: Thanks for pointing that out. Now you got it.

Amy: Ms. Davis?
Ms. Davis: Dr. Fowler, how can I help you?
Amy: You were right about this Nobel Prize being bigger than I am, and you were right that, like it or not, I am a role model. But you are wrong to keep me on the sidelines. I am smart, I'm capable, and I can make a difference.
Ms. Davis: Well said. You make a strong case.
Amy: Damn right, 'cause I'm a strong woman wearing a strong man's deodorant!

Amy: If we have damaging and embarrassing information about someone, should we keep it to ourselves or expose them?
[Everyone freezes and looks nervously at Amy]

Penny: Okay, look, Leonard knows that you and Sheldon decided to take the high road, so he went to Kripke for you. But that just means you didn't do anything wrong, and now you don't risk losing to those idiots.
Amy: Why did you tell me? Now that I know, I'm implicated.
Penny: But you wanted me to.
Amy: I also wanted you to be my jester at the Renaissance Fair, but that didn't happen.
Penny: I wanted to be a princess.
Amy: There was only one princess, and it was me!
Penny: Fine. I'm sorry I told you.
Amy: And I forgive you. 'Cause that's what a princess would do.

Dr. Pemberton: Hold on, are you blackmailing us?
Amy: No, the opposite.
Dr. Pemberton: We're blackmailing you?
Amy: How are you up for a Nobel?!