Penny: Come on, she gave birth to you.
Leonard: Fine, I'll pick her up.
Penny: Good, I'll go with you.
Sheldon: I call back seat.
Amy: Oh, I don't want to be the only one who doesn't go. I'll just sit here afraid that you're all talking about me.
Penny: We're not gonna talk about you.
Amy: Well, that's my other fear.

Leonard: If you like her so much you can have her, 'cause I-I'm done.
Sheldon: Oh, great. Catch the two of you later.
Amy: Sheldon, no.
Sheldon: Why?
Amy: Well, it's an emotionally complex issue. I don't have time to explain it right now.
Sheldon: Okay, but that excuse is running out of steam.

Amy: If I could respond more compassionately than Sheldon and [to Sheldon] thank you for making it so easy. The need for a mother's approval is baked into our biology.

Amy: Oh, that's me. It's CVS. My prescription's ready. [phone vibrates] Oh, and also my dad. He says congratulations and he loves me.
Sheldon: Nothing about me? [phone vibrates] Oh. Oh, it's your dad. I'm good.

Reporter #1: Congratulations. How does it feel?
Amy: Okay, w-we're happy to answer your questions, Just, um, one at a time, please?
Reporter #3: Is Dr. Cooper coming back?
Amy: No. Next question.

Sheldon: Amy, why don't you kick us off.
Amy: Thank you. "The challenging climate of Scandinavia has left its mark on the Swedish character. These dour, latter-day Vikings are slow to warm up to strangers, but if you follow a few easy steps, a Swede can be your friend for life."

Amy: Do you need anything else?
Sheldon: You know exactly what I need.
Amy: Fine. [sings and plays autoharp] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
Sheldon: That's nice. Now in German.
Amy: [sings and plays autoharp] Weiches Kätzchen, warmes Kätzchen, das nie und nimmer murrt. Liebes Kätzchen, müdes Kätzchen, schnurrt, schnurrt, schnurrt.
Sheldon: Great. Now Mandarin.
Amy: [sings and plays autoharp] Ruǎnmiánmián de xiǎo māomī máoróngrōng, kuàilè kēshuì qīngqiǎo māomī, gūlǔ gūlǔ gūlǔ.
Sheldon: Now Navajo.

Amy: Oh, my metatarsals are barking.

Amy: What would a theoretical physicist understand about an experiment anyway? I mean, you wouldn't know a confounding variable if two of them hit you in the face at the same time! And you don't even get that joke, 'cause you don't even work with confounding variables!

Leonard: Hey.
Howard: Oh, good.
Amy: Oh, thank God.
Penny: You guys been here long?
Howard: No, two minutes.
Amy: But yes.

Amy: So, Claire, we've heard so many wonderful things about you.
Claire: Really? Like what?
Amy: Uh, mostly Penny's heard them.

Amy: Hey, how you doing?
Penny: What are you doing here?
Amy: Oh, I just came by, you know, to see if you need any help.
Penny: Howard and Bernadette asked you to check up on me.
Amy: That is not entirely true. So did Leonard and everybody.

Penny: How irresponsible do you all think I am?
Amy: We don't think you're irresponsible. We think you're fun-loving.
Penny: That is just a nice word for "irresponsible."
Amy: Hmm. You might be more on the ball than we thought.

Dr. Campbell: Well, this certainly is a thrill for us. Lunch with you two, and, uh, tomorrow, we're gonna see a taping of Ellen.
Dr. Pemberton: She's having John Stamos on. Uncle Jesse!
Amy: Sounds fun.

Penny: "So instead she asked if in the future Montana ever became a state."
Amy: Hey, in the 1800s that was considered flirting.