Barry Kripke Quotes Page 3 of 5

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Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Barry Kripke: Yeah, but research in to dark energy proved that Einstein's cosmological constant was right all along. So you're still, surprise surprise, a loser.

Quote from the episode The Beta Test Initiation

Raj: Don't talk to her (Siri) that way. She's a lady.
Barry Kripke: Well, that lady took high-res pictures of my junk last night for Craigslist. Later!

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Barry Kripke: Excuse me, fellas. Sorry for eavesdropping, but there actually was some big string theory news out of the Hadron Collider.
Sheldon: Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or super-symmetry?
Barry Kripke: No, but they did find evidence you'll believe anything

Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation

Barry Kripke: I'm Barry Kripke and I'm here because you told me there was going to be a raffle. When is the raffle?

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Leonard: Can you give us a minute?
Barry Kripke: Take your time. I'll walk out backwards for dramatic effect.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Barry Kripke: Well, well, well. This is a pickle.
Sheldon: Yes, so, if you will just move your birthday party to a different location, everything will be fine.
Barry Kripke: Ugh, it's tricky. I don't want to move my party, but I also don't want to help you. Oh, wait, I don't have a problem.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Barry Kripke: Hello, Hofstadter.
Leonard: Why are you cleaning that out yourself? Don't you have grad students?
Barry Kripke: Come on, I can't make my grad students do every dirty job or so I've been told in writing by the head of Human Resources.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: My credibility may have been damaged.
Barry Kripke: Completely wrecked.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Barry Kripke: Greg Pemberton, you old so-and-so.
Dr. Pemberton: Very good to see you. Uh, let me introduce you to my colleague, Dr. Campbell. Uh, Kevin, this is Barry Kripke. We went to college together.
Dr. Campbell: Great to meet you.
Barry Kripke: Well, you have my number. We should hit up the buffet at the strip club while you're in town. Nothing beats a lap dance and a baked potato bar, huh?

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Barry Kripke: Oh God, I hate that guy.
Sheldon: That's strange; you seem quite fond of him.
Barry Kripke: I was only being polite. Pemberton is a grade A weasel.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not just being polite when you say it's nice to see me?
Barry Kripke: I have literally never said that to you.

Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation

Barry Kripke: Go ahead, Zach. Naked drunk girl, free balling. Continue.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Barry Kripke: I heard the only work he did on his thesis was googling, "Where can I buy a thesis?"
Amy: Well, plagiarism is a pretty serious charge. Are you sure?
Barry Kripke: You want proof? I can make some calls.
Sheldon: You'd do that for us?
Barry Kripke: I really don't want to see that guy win a Nobel. I also don't want to see you win a Nobel. Ooh, this is tricky.

Quote from the episode The Tenure Turbulence

Kripke: If you need my nose, you'll find it firmly lodged up the rectum of the tenure committee.

Quote from the episode The Grant Allocation Derivation

Barry Kripke: Leonard, I know you and I have a oh, troubled history, but I hope that when I make my request you'll give me a fair shot.
Leonard: Of course.
Barry Kripke: See? That's why I like about this guy: integrity. Bring it in! I just put something in your pocket. It's good at all El Pollo Locos.

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: Why would you do that? You're a string theorist as well.
Barry Kripke: Incorrect. I'm a string pragmatist. I say I'm going to prove something that can not be proved. I apply for grant money and then I spend it on liquor and broads.

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