Raj: Oh, beef, Im going to miss you so much. Do you know, at the Mumbai McDonald's, you can't get a Big Mac? All you can get is a Chicken Maharaja Mac. And the special sauce is curry, which in India, believe you me, is really not that special.

Raj: I took the liberty of burning us a mix of heroic questing music.
Sheldon: This says Beyonce Bootylicious Dance Mix.
Raj: It's a re-writable CD. Just put it in.
Howard: Beyonce? Really?
Raj: She's curvy and she owns it. I like that.

Raj: I like Green Lantern, I'm just saying it's pretty lame that he can be defeated by the color yellow.
Sheldon: Only the modern Green Lantern is vulnerable to yellow.
Leonard: Golden age Green Lantern was vulnerable to wood.
Raj: Great, so I can take them both out with a number-two pencil?

Bernadette: What about this?
Raj: Uh, okay. Uh, pull off the skirt, slap a lightning bolt on the front, and you got baby Flash. Ooh, stick a long sleeve under it. Boom, Baby Sheldon!

Raj: Recently, 12 new moons were discovered orbiting Jupiter, bringing the total up to 79.
As a middle child myself, I'd like to extend my sympathies to moons two through 78. Your grandpa will never learn your name. I'd like to thank you for joining me on this journey through the stars. If you enjoyed this lecture, please come back Thursday for the exact same one.

Leonard: How could you not tell me your sister was moving back to India?
Howard: Maybe he was too busy writing clumsy penis metaphors about my fiancee.
Raj: Screw you, that was a beautifully-written penis metaphor.

Raj: (Reading Howard's tweet) I am so lonely and horny, I may open this $20 jar of peanuts and end it all.

Raj: These mimosas are kicking my little brown ass!

Raj: Whoa! What's your hurry, cowboy? Savor the moment.
*Raj and Howard slowly remove the plastic off Raj's new iPhone 4S*
Howard: Oh, yeah.

Leonard: What have you been doing for the past six months?
Raj: You know, checking email, updating my Facebook status, messing up Wikipedia entries. Did you know Netflix lets you stream movies on your computer now?

Penny: Anybody need a refill?
Raj: (Drunk) Where did my life go, Penny?
*Everyone realizes Raj spoke to Penny.*
Raj: One day, I'm a carefree bachelor, the next, I'm driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches in suburban New Delhi.
Penny: Are you talking to me?
Raj: Is there another Penny here?

Howard: You know if you'd rather skip lunch and hang out with your boyfriend, Bert. It's totally okay.
Amy: He's not my boyfriend.
Raj: Are you sure? He's tall, pale and awkward. That sounds like your type.

Howard: Here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the Space Station. We gotta find a way, using nothing but this, to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
Raj: You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?

Sheldon: I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita: Really? So do I!
Raj: But, you're a dentist, he's nuts!

Raj: Sorry, dude. The thermostat's on my side of the room, so it stays Mumbai hot in here until you turn off that stupid Indian music.
Sheldon: I'll turn off the music when you get rid of that salmonella-ridden parakeet.
Raj: Oh, too bad. Sheldon's pathologically afraid of birds. Hey, look, Sheldon. Birdie, birdie, birdie.
Sheldon: That's it. Prepare for marshmallow death.
Raj: Eat flaming Nerf.