Raj: If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed, and I would be their king.
Leonard: I hate my name. It has 'nerd' in it. 'Len. Nerd.'
Wolowitz: I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie.
Raj: I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. At first.

Wolowitz: You're such a douche
Raj: Who cares? You slept with your cousin!

Howard: Hell hound.
Raj: Who let the satanic dogs out?

Wolowitz: I think that you and Penny had a poor night.
Leonard: It wasn't poor. It was ... just fine.
Raj: Dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was just fine.

Leonard: Well, the only way we can play teams at this point is if we cut Raj in half.
Raj: Oh, sure, cut the foreigner in half. There's a billion more where he came from.

Sheldon: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures thus intimidating one's opponent.
Raj: Then we could be the Bengal tigers.
Sheldon: Poor choice. You know, gram for gram no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Raj: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.

Raj: I'm sorry I'm so late. I was on the phone with my mother.
Bernadette: How is she?
Raj: Pretty good. She bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love", and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.

Raj: Okay, just to be clear, roller skating was my idea, and I'm very unhappy that you turned it into a double date. I hope you both fall on your asses and break your coccyxes.
Sheldon: The plural of coccyx is coccyges.
Raj: Screw you. Give me back my lima beans.

Raj: But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!

Raj: Ooo, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.

Raj: With your American accent, everything you say sounds stupid.

Howard: What, I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: Id like to weigh in here: No.

Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Raj: Sheldon, that's my water.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord!
Leonard: That's not your water.
Raj: I know.

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!