Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 3 of 62

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Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Raj: But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Girl: What are you gonna get, Raj?
Raj: With my luck, hepatitis.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Raj: With your American accent, everything you say sounds stupid.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Raj: Sheldon, that's my water.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord!
Leonard: That's not your water.
Raj: I know.

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Rajesh: Excuse me but I don't think Penny is out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like it you should've put a ring on it.

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Raj: It's too bad he wasn't here for that hooker. She's exactly his type. A hooker. Y

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: Hell hound.
Raj: Who let the satanic dogs out?

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Raj: Ooh, Leonard is going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass.

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Sheldon: Where's the ring?
Leonard: It's in a Fedex box on its way back to where it came from.
Raj: The fires of Mount Doom?

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Rajesh: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman
Leonard: Yeah?
Rajesh: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Rajesh: What do the toilet look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Leonard: I think I'm starting to get this.
Rajesh: Really? The only thing I've learnt in the last 2 hours is that American men drink a lot of beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials Raj.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Raj: Okay, and here's the hook.
"Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones."

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