Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 3 of 70
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Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment
Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!
Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration
Raj: Yeah, Mrs. Wolowitz was pretty special. When I first moved to America, Howard was my only friend, and she made me feel so welcome in her home. Which says a lot, because those first few years she thought I was the gardener.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Raj: Hey, Leonard?
Raj: I haven't had sex in a year.
Leonard: Where are you going with this, Raj?
Raj: Don't flatter yourself, dude.
Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality
Raj: Can you believe it! He watched me work for 10 minutes and than he tried to build a little piece of software that could replace me.
Leonard: Is that really possible?
Raj: As it turned out, yes.
Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture
Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.
Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex
Leonard: I think I'm starting to get this.
Rajesh: Really? The only thing I've learnt in the last 2 hours is that American men drink a lot of beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials Raj.
Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation
Raj: So, how's it going with the ti
Howard: Great, it's all done. The lawyer tracked down my father and got him to sign it over. I didn't have to meet him, I didn't have to talk to him, I don't even know where he is.
Raj: Wow, so you're not curious at all?
Raj: What if he's in prison? What if he's a spy? What if he's in a Beatles cover band? I'm just saying, if he's got your nose and haircut, he'd make a killer Ringo.
Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation
Howard: You know what's really happening here? Your girlfriend is breaking up our band.
Raj: She has nothing to do with this. I am my own man.
Howard: Oh, please. Your brain belongs to whoever's willing to sleep with you.
Raj: That is so not true.
Howard: Really? Remember when you were gonna get circumcised for Rachel Bernstein?
Raj: That had nothing to do with Rachel. It was an overreaction to a bad zipper injury.
Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation
Sheldon: Where's the ring?
Leonard: It's in a Fedex box on its way back to where it came from.
Raj: The fires of Mount Doom?
Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation
Girl: What are you gonna get, Raj?
Raj: With my luck, hepatitis.
Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification
Raj: Can I bring girls here?
Leonard: You? Sure. Bring as many as you want.
Raj: Okay, deal.
Leonard: Just not against their will.
Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization
Howard: Wow, so you guys are like buds now?
Raj: Oh, yeah, we hang out all the time.
Stuart: Plus, he doesn't have a girlfriend, I don't have a girlfriend.
Raj: It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.
Stuart: That sounds a little funny to an American ear.
Raj: Which part?
Stuart: Just all of it.
Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion
Raj: Come on, dude, bros before ... my sister.
Quote from the episode The Holiday Summation
Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.