Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 3 of 54

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Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Girl: What are you gonna get, Raj?
Raj: With my luck, hepatitis.

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Raj: It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an Indian providing the food.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Raj: With your American accent, everything you say sounds stupid.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Raj: Sheldon, that's my water.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord!
Leonard: That's not your water.
Raj: I know.

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Rajesh: Excuse me but I don't think Penny is out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like it you should've put a ring on it.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Raj: She is exactly Howard's type. A hooker.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: Hell hound.
Raj: Who let the satanic dogs out?

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Raj: Ooh, Leonard is going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass.

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Rajesh: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman
Leonard: Yeah?
Rajesh: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Rajesh: What do the toilet look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Leonard: I think I'm starting to get this.
Rajesh: Really? The only thing I've learnt in the last 2 hours is that American men drink a lot of beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials Raj.

Quote from the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation

Howard: The man impersonating a bear would like you to know that "Only you can prevent forest fires."
Raj: I don't get it.
Howard: You didn't have Smokey the Bear in India?
Raj: No. Was he anything like Munmun the Mongoose? He taught us not to play with cobras.
Howard: You had to be taught not to play with cobras?
Raj: You had to be taught not to burn down the forest?

Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation

Howard: Hey, I threw out the first pitch at an Angels game.
Josh: Wow.
Bernadette: He did it with a robot.
Josh: You had sex with a robot?
Howard: That's not what she meant.
Raj: But technically, yes.

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