Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 3 of 66

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Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Girl: What are you gonna get, Raj?
Raj: With my luck, hepatitis.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Raj: With your American accent, everything you say sounds stupid.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Raj: Sheldon, that's my water.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord!
Leonard: That's not your water.
Raj: I know.

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Raj: Ooh, Leonard is going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass.

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Sheldon: Where's the ring?
Leonard: It's in a Fedex box on its way back to where it came from.
Raj: The fires of Mount Doom?

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Rajesh: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman
Leonard: Yeah?
Rajesh: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Rajesh: What do the toilet look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Leonard: I think I'm starting to get this.
Rajesh: Really? The only thing I've learnt in the last 2 hours is that American men drink a lot of beer, pee too often and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials Raj.

Quote from the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation

Howard: The man impersonating a bear would like you to know that "Only you can prevent forest fires."
Raj: I don't get it.
Howard: You didn't have Smokey the Bear in India?
Raj: No. Was he anything like Munmun the Mongoose? He taught us not to play with cobras.
Howard: You had to be taught not to play with cobras?
Raj: You had to be taught not to burn down the forest?

Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation

Howard: Hey, I threw out the first pitch at an Angels game.
Josh: Wow.
Bernadette: He did it with a robot.
Josh: You had sex with a robot?
Howard: That's not what she meant.
Raj: But technically, yes.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Howard: Okay make your little jokes, but out of the four of us, I'm the only one who's making real world contribution to science and technology.
Rajesh: He's right, this is an important achievement for two reasons. Number one and of course number two!

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: Wow, so you guys are like buds now?
Raj: Oh, yeah, we hang out all the time.
Stuart: Plus, he doesn't have a girlfriend, I don't have a girlfriend.
Raj: It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.
Stuart: That sounds a little funny to an American ear.
Raj: Which part?
Stuart: Just all of it.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Wolowitz: I think that you and Penny had a poor night.
Leonard: It wasn't poor. It was ... just fine.
Raj: Dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was just fine.

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