Howard: Okay make your little jokes, but out of the four of us, I'm the only one who's making real world contribution to science and technology.
Rajesh: He's right, this is an important achievement for two reasons. Number one and of course number two!

Raj: You slipped and fell into a robotic hand.
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes.

Rajesh: Excuse me but I don't think Penny is out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like it you should've put a ring on it.

Sheldon: Where's the ring?
Leonard: It's in a Fedex box on its way back to where it came from.
Raj: The fires of Mount Doom?

Raj: Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I've wanted to go to an American prom. But then I saw Carrie and did not want to go to an American prom. Then I saw Never Been Kissed and I'm back on the prom bandwagon. This prom things been a real rollercoaster.

Leonard: We all have other costumes, we can change.
Raj: Or we could walk right behind each other all night. It'll look like one person going really fast.

Howard: So in addition to being crazy, you're resting the weight of the mission on your athletic prowess?
Raj: Yes.
Howard: The man who crashed his stationary bike?
Raj: I didn't crash it, okay? My playlist was too up tempo, I got light headed and I fell off.

Raj: It's too bad he wasn't here for that hooker. She's exactly his type. A hooker.

Sheldon: Red is angry, yellow is frightened, green is jealous and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely.
Raj: Nothing rhymes with orange. Its probably lonely.
Sheldon: All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness. No, I dont see that catching on at all.

Raj: Come on, dude, bros before ... my sister.

Raj: I can't talk to the FBI.
Howard: Why? They're just going to ask background questions about me.
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

Raj: You know there's something I've always wondered about Aquaman.
Leonard: Yeah?
Raj: Where does he poop?
Leonard: What?
Raj: What do the toilets look like in Atlantis? How would you flush it? And when you did flush it, where would the poop go?

Raj: No, I'm not gay. If anything, I'm metrosexual.
Dr. Koothrappali: What's that?
Raj: It means that I like women, as well as their skin-care products.

Raj: I'm going to be deported. Sent home in disgrace. Exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay or, as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service.

Raj: Sorry doesn't make up for the fact that I had to cook chicken and rice with this vegan guy. You know what vegan chicken and rice is? It's rice!