Raj: You slipped and fell into a robotic hand.
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes.

Raj: I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.

Rajesh: Excuse me but I don't think Penny is out of line at all. You don't own her. It's like my girl Beyonce says: If you like it you should've put a ring on it.

Raj: Cute is for bunnies. I want to be something with sex appeal. Like a labradoodle.

Raj: It's amazing what liquor does to guilt.

Raj: Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I've wanted to go to an American prom. But then I saw Carrie and did not want to go to an American prom. Then I saw Never Been Kissed and I'm back on the prom bandwagon. This prom things been a real rollercoaster.

Leonard: We all have other costumes, we can change.
Raj: Or we could walk right behind each other all night. It'll look like one person going really fast.

Howard: So in addition to being crazy, you're resting the weight of the mission on your athletic prowess?
Raj: Yes.
Howard: The man who crashed his stationary bike?
Raj: I didn't crash it, okay? My playlist was too up tempo, I got light headed and I fell off.

Raj: They don't call me Brown Dynamite for nothin'.

Raj: It's too bad he wasn't here for that hooker. She's exactly his type. A hooker.

Sheldon: Red is angry, yellow is frightened, green is jealous and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely.
Raj: Nothing rhymes with orange. Its probably lonely.
Sheldon: All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness. No, I dont see that catching on at all.

Raj: Come on, dude, bros before ... my sister.

Howard: The man impersonating a bear would like you to know that, "Only you can prevent forest fires."
Raj: I don't get it.
Howard: You didn't have Smokey the Bear in India?
Raj: No. Was he anything like Munmun the Mongoose? He taught us not to play with cobras.
Howard: You had to be taught not to play with cobras?
Raj: You had to be taught not to burn down the forest?

Raj: I can't talk to the FBI.
Howard: Why? They're just going to ask background questions about me.
Raj: I'm brown and I talk funny.

Raj: No, I'm not gay. If anything, I'm metrosexual.
Dr. Koothrappali: What's that?
Raj: It means that I like women, as well as their skin-care products.