Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 6 of 62

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Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification

Howard: You sure? Not even coffee? We have R2-Decaf. Maybe a nice Cafe au Leah.
Raj: And if you're not in the mood for coffee, I can always make you a Chai Tea-3PO.

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Raj: Oh, you're so arrogant. If you were a super hero your name would be Captain Arrogant. And do you know what your super power would be? Arrogance.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Raj: Ha-ha! Eat my dust, racially stereotypical plumber.
Sheldon: That's not fair! I got stuck behind a tree.
Raj: And a cow, and a penguin. Face it dude, whether it's a real car or a virtual car, you can't drive.
Sheldon: Just need a little more practice.
Raj: What you need is cheat codes, motor skills and a genie who grants wishes to little boys who sucks at MarioKart.

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Leonard: How's dating two women going?
Raj: Umm, kinda hit a bump. When I was honest and told Emily she wasn't the only person I was seeing, it went great. So I tried the same thing with Lucy.
Howard: And?
Raj: She had mixed feelings. But when I said "Emily was cool with it, Emily's the best, why can't you be more like Emily?", those feelings became less mixed.

Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation

Raj: You here looking for money?
Josh: No.
Raj: A kidney, cornea, piece of his liver?
Josh: No.
Raj: You're in a Beatles cover band and you need Howard to replace your dad as Ringo.

Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation

Raj: So, what's up with you guys?
Howard: We're just saying all the things we love about each other.
Raj: Oh, like you and I did at couple's therapy?

Quote from the episode The Champagne Reflection

Raj: You know, I thought cleaning out a dead professor's office was gonna just be boring, but then I found his dentures and realized it's also gross.

Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Raj: When I moved to America I was pretty lonely, but when I met Howard my life changed because we could be lonely together.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Raj: Can we at least rent the car from Enterprise? (nobody reacts) Oh, screw you! That's funny!

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Leonard: Would you please take that stupid hat off?
Howard: No, I want to blend in.
Raj: To what? Toy Story?

Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation

Yvette: You're the owner?
Raj: Owner. Father. Soul mate. And, if anything happens to her, your (Leonard & Penny) worst nightmare!

Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Raj: Come on, dude, I'm exhausted and Tyra Banks says the most important item in your makeup bag is a good night's sleep.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Raj: You always do this, you know, ditch me for a woman you don't have a shot with.
Howard: I totally had a shot.
Raj: With a woman you were chasing in a park. That's not a shot, that's a felony.

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Leonard: We all have other costumes, we can change.
Raj: Or we could walk right behind each other all night. It'll look like one person going really fast.

Quote from the episode The Vengeance Formulation

Leonard: What if you could make Kripke look even sillier than he made you look?
Raj: I don't think that's possible, dude.
Leonard: You're not helping.
Raj: I didn't come here to help, I came here to mock.

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