Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 13 of 262
Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation
Sheldon: I've learned that 1 in 700,000 people die from general anesthesia.
Leonard: But do you realize that means 699,999 people don't die?
Sheldon: I suppose that's true. You're such a glass half full kind of guy. I'm going to miss that.
Quote from the episode The Monster Isolation
Sheldon: She's remarkable.
Leonard: She really is.
Sheldon: How is it that she can remember all those lines, yet as a waitress she can't remember no tomato on my hamburger?
Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem
Sheldon: Who's Nowitzki?
Ramona: I'm Nowitzki.
Sheldon: Oh, so you want me to share credit with you?
Ramona: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Get out!
Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation
Sheldon: But evolution is not opinion, it's a fact. Mary Cooper: And that is your opinion. Sheldon: [to Leonard, Howard and Raj] I forgive you, let's go home.
Quote from the episode The Platonic Permutation
Sheldon: Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend.
Quote from the episode The Deception Verification
Sheldon: Careful, Amy. The friend of the enemy's girlfriend is my enemy.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: You're either with me or against me.
Amy: You wanna take the bus to work?
Sheldon: Maybe there's a third option.
Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision
Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Hello.
Sheldon: Ok, enough with the friendly banter. I believe you know why I am here.
Penny: Oh, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
Sheldon: Yes amusing. Extraordinary intelligence might well appear extraterrestrial to you, but let me be more specific. I believe you know why I am here in the laundry room.
Quote from the episode The Separation Oscillation
Sheldon: She watched it. I'm gonna get that girl back.
Amy: I only watched it because you emailed it to me with the subject line "This is gonna make you mad."
Sheldon: She was listening through the door. She wants me.
Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation
Sheldon: Proxima Centauri's the nearest star. The celestial bodies that follow are:
Alpha Centauri A, Toli, Barnard's Star, Wolf 359, Laland 21185, Sirius A, Sirius B, BL Ceti, UV Ceti, Ross 154, Ross 248, Epsilon Eridani, Lac 9352, Ross 128, EZ Aquarii A, EZ Aquarii B, EZ Aquarii C, Procyon A.
Those are the stars that are nearest to me,
Tra la la and fiddle dee dee.
Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jelly fish into other animals; and I thought "Hey! Fish night-lights".
Leonard: Fish night-lights.
Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea, ssh!
Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion
Sheldon: Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.
Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification
Sheldon: What are you doing here?
Leonard: I live here.
Sheldon: I have paperwork that says differently.
Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination
Sheldon: I must say, Amy, pretending to have intercourse with you has given me a great deal of satisfaction.
Quote from the episode The Clean Room Infiltration
Sheldon: Let's see. What do I know about Amy? She loves medieval literature. Chaucer's her favorite. And her eyes sparkle when she watches old French movies. And I enjoy how harp music causes her fingers to dance as if she's playing along.
Bernadette: Wow, you really do love her.
Sheldon: I do. Now, let's find the kind of gift that makes her feel small and worthless.
Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement
Sheldon: I need to sleep here tonight.
Raj: Why?
Sheldon: Howard is a total ass, Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Raj: Okay, come in.
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