Sheldon: If your bathroom floor counts as a carry-on, you're packed.

Sheldon: Oh, and here's a picture of me receiving my bachelor of science degree.
Beverly Hofstadter: You don't look very happy.
Sheldon: Well, I had just begun puberty. It was figuratively and literally one of the hairiest moments of my life.

Penny: Sorry, Sheldon, I'll move out of your spot.
Sheldon: Why? My spot, your spot; what difference does it make?

Leonard: What are you gonna do first?
Sheldon: I don't know. I could do anything. All bets are off. The world is my oyster. *slams hand on table* I got it. I'm gonna put on my Tuesday pajamas tonight.

Barber: I can cut it for you.
Sheldon: You're not Mr. D'Onofrio. I get my hair cut by Mr. D'Onofrio. *to Leonard* Can you believe this guy?

Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person.

Sheldon: The way I see it, there's a simple solution. Your lips had a dalliance with the lips of another woman. It seems only logical that to restore balance to the relationship, you should find another man and dally with him. And by dally, I mean some hardcore mouth-on-mouth action.

Howard: We are going to Me-he-co.
Leonard: Fun! I've never been there.
Sheldon: Leonard, don't be fooled. I'm from Texas. Me-he-co is Spanish for Mexico.

Leonard: Uh, I'm Leonard. This is my friend-
Sheldon: I'm Skippy. Skippy Cavanaugh.

Sheldon: Right this way, Uncle Harvey.
Leonard: Will you stop with that already?
Sheldon: I'm trying not to attract attention.
Leonard: And tipping his hat to the cleaning lady didn't do that?
Sheldon: She said, "Buenas noches." What was he supposed to do?

Sheldon: Oh, Dr. and Mrs. Hofstadter, lovely to see you this fine morning.
Leonard: You're in a good mood.
Sheldon: Yeah, I am indeed. I have decided, instead of wallowing in sadness about Amy, it is time that I find myself a new female companion.

Sheldon: Thank you for coming by, gentlemen.
Howard: No problem.
Raj: So what's up?
Sheldon: Well, it was the two of you who found Amy Farrah Fowler for me.
Now that I'm looking for my next girlfriend, it seemed only logical that I employ your services once again.

Sheldon: What if it's Jennifer Lawrence?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Oh, that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea.
Howard: You thought she was great in X-Men.
Sheldon: Oh, fine. I won't shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence.

Sheldon: Hey. Good news, everybody. Now that I'm no longer with Amy, I have an extra ticket to the annual Thanksgiving lunch buffet at the aquarium cafeteria. Who wants it? You realize you won't be going alone. I'll be there the whole time. Providing fish and pilgrim facts.

Sheldon: And feel free to tell your guest that the Myanmar catfish is also known as the pilgrim fish. In case the turkey's dry and you need something juicy.