Sheldon: Hi. Hello. And a special hello to Leonard, who needs to be mentioned by name.
Leonard: Subtle.
Sheldon: But you got it right.

Sheldon: What does red and yellow mean?
Howard: It means the calibration failed. We have to start over.
Sheldon: Oh. Very well. Reinitiating calibration sequence. *flips switch rapidly* One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten... *lights on drone don't turn solid yellow* eleven. It's a good thing I didn't send that letter.

Howard: What happened to me? When did I become an old man baffled by modern technology? Next thing you know, I'll be hitching my pants up to my armpits and complaining about the awful music the kids are listening to.
Sheldon: It is awful, isn't it? Listen to that noise.

Sheldon: If your bathroom floor counts as a carry-on, you're packed.

Sheldon: Oh, and here's a picture of me receiving my bachelor of science degree.
Beverly Hofstadter: You don't look very happy.
Sheldon: Well, I had just begun puberty. It was figuratively and literally one of the hairiest moments of my life.

Penny: Sorry, Sheldon, I'll move out of your spot.
Sheldon: Why? My spot, your spot; what difference does it make?

Leonard: What are you gonna do first?
Sheldon: I don't know. I could do anything. All bets are off. The world is my oyster. *slams hand on table* I got it. I'm gonna put on my Tuesday pajamas tonight.

Barber: I can cut it for you.
Sheldon: You're not Mr. D'Onofrio. I get my hair cut by Mr. D'Onofrio. *to Leonard* Can you believe this guy?

Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently intelligent person.

Sheldon: The way I see it, there's a simple solution. Your lips had a dalliance with the lips of another woman. It seems only logical that to restore balance to the relationship, you should find another man and dally with him. And by dally, I mean some hardcore mouth-on-mouth action.

Howard: We are going to Me-he-co.
Leonard: Fun! I've never been there.
Sheldon: Leonard, don't be fooled. I'm from Texas. Me-he-co is Spanish for Mexico.

Leonard: Uh, I'm Leonard. This is my friend-
Sheldon: I'm Skippy. Skippy Cavanaugh.

Sheldon: Right this way, Uncle Harvey.
Leonard: Will you stop with that already?
Sheldon: I'm trying not to attract attention.
Leonard: And tipping his hat to the cleaning lady didn't do that?
Sheldon: She said, "Buenas noches." What was he supposed to do?

Sheldon: Oh, Dr. and Mrs. Hofstadter, lovely to see you this fine morning.
Leonard: You're in a good mood.
Sheldon: Yeah, I am indeed. I have decided, instead of wallowing in sadness about Amy, it is time that I find myself a new female companion.

Sheldon: Thank you for coming by, gentlemen.
Howard: No problem.
Raj: So what's up?
Sheldon: Well, it was the two of you who found Amy Farrah Fowler for me.
Now that I'm looking for my next girlfriend, it seemed only logical that I employ your services once again.