Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 208 of 247

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Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Leonard: Howard did go to the International Space Station.
Sheldon: Yeah, that was five weeks ago. How much longer is he gonna milk that cow?

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Policeman: We're done here. Call this number, and w'll fax you a copy of the report so you can submit it to your insurance company.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, that's the end of your inquiry?
Policeman: Do you have any more information that might be relevant?
Sheldon: Oh, my goodness. Where do I begin? For instance, my laptop contained four out of the five Gedanken experiments necessary for a cogent restatement of the quantum measurement problem.
Leonard: How is that going to help them?
Sheldon: Well, they could monitor scientific publications and see if anyone posts such a cogent restatement in the next couple of months. If so, the authors are most likely in possession of my stolen laptop.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Leonard: So you'll send him an e-mail when we get back.
Sheldon: Then I won't get to see his face light up as he reads it.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Leonard: Oh. It's Stuart.
Sheldon: You're not going to answer it?
Leonard: He wants to talk about Penny. I don't want to talk about Penny.
Sheldon: You're making an assumption. Perhaps the comic book store is on fire, and he needs your assistance.
Leonard: Why would he call me?
Sheldon: We don't know. And if you don't answer the phone, we can't know.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Penny: Well then why are you going?
Sheldon: It's a comic book convention. You know, it's like pizza or particle accelerators, even the stinky one's still pretty good.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Leonard: What are we supposed to do now?
Sheldon: The only thing we can do. Watch TV on our phones until the criminals return and bludgeon us to death in our sleep.
Leonard: Does that mean you've ruled me out as a suspect?
Sheldon: Oh, how I wish I could.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Leonard: Well, there's nothing you can do about it, so relax, sit back, enjoy the clickety-clack of the steel wheels on the polished rails.
Sheldon: You forgot your flash drive, You forgot your flash drive...
Leonard: Only ten hours, 55 minutes to go.

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: Answer the phone, Leonard.
Leonard: No! There, it went to voice mail.
Sheldon: Aren't you going to check your messages?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: You have to check your messages, the leaving of a message is one half of a social contract which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Penny: Hang on, I think the emergency key is around here somewhere.
Sheldon: We have a bowl. Our keys go in a bowl. You should get a bowl.
Penny: So, how did the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper forget his key in the first place.
Sheldon: I left them in the bowl.

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Howard: Fine, I'm taking your diploma.
Sheldon: Go ahead. That's the only doctorate you'll ever get.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Penny: Sheldon, do you want to sleep here tonight?
Sheldon: Oh, as small as Leonard is, I don't think the two of youd be comfortable on the couch.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: No, no, no, I'm just here for your money. I don't want to shake anyone's germy hands. Explain it to them, Siebert.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Penny: Alright, Sheldon, let's just calm down and we'll call the building manager, he'll come open your door, you just eat your dinner here while you're waiting.
Sheldon: Eat? My dinner? In your apartment?
Penny: Yeah, why not?
Sheldon: Sure, why not? And after the sun's down we can all pile in my pick-up and go skinny-dipping down at the creek. 'cause today's the day to stop making sense.

Quote from the episode The Conjugal Configuration

Sheldon: Do you know what I love about Broadway theater? It's so interactive.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: You're so close to the actors. It's like you're in the play.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: I mean, you yell, "Harry, watch out," he looks right at you. And not just Harry, everyone onstage.
Amy: At the risk of sounding redundant, uh-huh.

Quote from the episode The Countdown Reflection

Sheldon: Remarkable. In just under a half hour, 200 metric tons of fuel will ignite in a controlled explosion right beneath Howard's keister. And all from a country whose entire contribution to the global economy has been Tetris and mail-order brides.

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