Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 32 of 209
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Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis
Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before?
Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City?
Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Leonard: Howard brought a date?
Sheldon: A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward.
Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency
Sheldon: I see no organizational system in here whatsoever. Which panties do you wear on Mondays?
Penny: I don't need panties, I just need shorts and a shirt.
Sheldon: My mother always told me one should wear clean underpants in case one is in an accident.
Penny: One was already in an accident.
Sheldon: Doesn't mean one won't be in another, especially if I'm driving.
Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation
Penny: Well, my question is, and I'm pretty sure I know the answer, is this your first date?
Sheldon: That depends. Does square-dancing with my sister at a Teens for Jesus 4th of July Hoe-down count as a date?
Sheldon: Then, this is my first date.
Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy
Sheldon: You're out, too, by the way.
Leonard: Say what?
Sheldon: It's nothing personal, I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent every time they eat an Eskimo pie.
Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis
Sheldon: If you have time to lean you have time to clean.
Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination
Koothrappali: Oh, great. No Superman, no Wonder Woman? All we've got is a skinny Flash, an Indian Aquaman, a near-sighted Green Lantern, and a teeny, tiny Dark Knight.
Sheldon: Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League. We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.
Koothrappali: Ooh, I call Kermit.
Sheldon: I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.
Koothrappali: Oh, man. Scooter sucks. He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.
Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation
Sheldon: That does smell good, too bad it's Monday.
Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm
Sheldon: I don't care if anybody gets it. I'm going as the Doppler Effect.
Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption
Amy: Sorry I'm late. (Sees Sheldon's new hair style) What did you do?
Penny: I gave him a new look. Cute, huh?
Amy: Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick?
Sheldon: (Looks in a mirror) She's right, I'm too hot.
Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation
Leonard: I'm bleeding!
Sheldon: Like a gladiator.
Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
Sheldon: Penny for your thoughts?
Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative
Sheldon: Your check-engine light is on.
Penny: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Typically, that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: It's fine. It's been on for like a month.
Sheldon: Well, actually that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.
Penny: Maybe the light's broken.
Sheldon: Is there a check-the-check-engine-light light?
Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation
Sheldon: Good night. And if there's an apocalypse, good luck.
Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation
Sheldon: Priya, if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness, it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to, if I might quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants".