Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 32 of 262
Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Penny: What was my first strike?
Sheldon: March 18th, you violated my rule about forwarding email humor.
Penny: I did?
Sheldon: The photo of the cat who wants to "Has Cheeseburger?"
Penny: Oh, come on, everybody loves Lolcats. They're cute and they can't spell because they're cats.
Sheldon: I trusted you with my email address and you betrayed that trust by sending me internet banality. Strike one. Touching my food. Strike two.
Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative
Sheldon: Your check-engine light is on.
Penny: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Typically, that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: It's fine. It's been on for like a month.
Sheldon: Well, actually that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.
Penny: Maybe the light's broken.
Sheldon: Is there a check-the-check-engine-light light?
Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm
Sheldon: And you thought the opposite of stupid loser was a Community College Graduate?
Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor
Sheldon: You seem to have forgotten the reason we live together is that we're best friends. And I've got your back, Jack.
Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis
Leonard: Sheldon, this is not your home!
Sheldon: This isn't anyone's 'home'. This is a swirling vortex of entropy.
Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation
Penny: Whatcha doin'?
Sheldon: I'm attempting to view my work as a fleeting peripheral image so as to engage the superior coliculus of my brain.
Penny: Interesting. I usually just have coffee. Have you been up all night?
Sheldon: Is it morning?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Then I've been up all night.
Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination
Sheldon: Leonard, the people at Nintendo can only go so far in helping us recreate an actual athletic experience. We have to do our part too.
Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Sheldon: *On computer screen* Greetings, hamburger toucher. You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends about how much you heart various things. Well, this recorded message is alerting you that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggybacking upon our WiFi. If you want to remedy the situation you can contact the phone company, set up your own WiFi and pay for it, or you may apologize to me.
Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction
Sheldon: Wine and a girl in the dark. He's going to be bored out of his mind.
Quote from the episode The Hook-Up Reverberation
Leonard: Will you stay out of this?
Sheldon: If only Penny had said that once in a while.
Quote from the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation
Sheldon: (To Amy) Do you have any idea what it's like to wait for years and never know if you're finally going to get satisfaction?
Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation
*Sheldon spots Amy Farrah Fowler outside the apartment*
Sheldon: Oh dear... they really do be crazy.
Quote from the episode The Alien Parasite Hypothesis
Sheldon: Good grief. It's like talking to a dolphin.
Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex
Amy: Gentlemen, as much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy playing intergalactic make-believe, he and I have other plans. We are attending my Aunt Flora's 93rd birthday party. Sheldon: Just tell her I can't come. Amy: She'll be disappointed if we don't show up. Sheldon: She's 93. She won't be disappointed for very long.
Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
Sheldon: Penny for your thoughts?
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