Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 44 of 262
Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration
Amy: What do you say? It sounds kinda perfect.
Penny: It does, but somehow he managed to take all the fun out of it.
Sheldon: Once again, it's what I do.
Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment
Sheldon: Virgin diet cuba libre please.
Penny: OK.
Sheldon: In a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Oh I'll wedge it right in there.
Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation
Penny: We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
Sheldon: You're darn right, you wouldn't. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.
Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation
Sheldon: And of those few months, how long have you been a demented sex pervert?
Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology
Sheldon: Worst Renaissance Fair ever!
Leonard: Please let it go, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It was rife with historical inaccuracies, for example, the tavern girl, serving flagons of mead, now her costume was obviously Germanic, but in 1487, the Bavarian purity laws, or Reinheitgebot, severely limited the availability of mead. At best, they would've had some spiced wine.
Leonard: You're nitpicking!
Sheldon: Oh, really? Well, here's another nit for you, the flagons would not have been made of polypropylene.
Quote from the episode The Colonization Application
Amy: Are you asking me to go to Mars with you?
Sheldon: I am. If I'm going to a barren, lifeless environment, where the chances of survival are slim to none, I want you there with me.
Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation
Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, I was actually talking about when I was a kid on Star Trek.
Sheldon: How could you not like getting attention for playing Wesley Crusher? You were wonderful. A know-it all boy genius with an eidetic memory. Who couldn't relate to that?
Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction
Sheldon: And look over here, "shrimp in mobster sauce". What is mobster sauce?
Leonard: It's obviously a typo.
Sheldon: Perhaps. Perhaps this restaurant's now a front for organized crime. For all we know, the mobster sauce contains actual chunks of deceased mobsters.
Raj: No, no, no, no. I think it just means it's the kind of sauce that mobsters like.
Howard: It doesn't mean any of that. It's a typo!
Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability
Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc slurpee/icee equivalency?
Sheldon: Oh Leonard, you know I can't do that.
Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration
Sheldon: You know what you could make us do? Ice skating. The cold air will trigger Leonard's asthma, and it plays into my well known fear of getting flattened by a zamboni.
Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination
Leonard: Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman, I want to be Green Lantern.
Raj: But I'm Green Lantern.
Leonard: You can be Aquaman.
Raj: I don't want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere.
Zack: Hey, babe.
Penny: I'm still mad at you.
Zack: Well, you won't be when you hear the great news.
Penny: What great news?
Zack: We're going to a costume party at the comic book store on New Year's Eve, and you get to be Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth. Invisible plane sold separately.
Quote from the episode The Fetal Kick Catalyst
Stuart: I also love how you never use swear words.
Sheldon: You know, it turns out, you can hurt people just as well without 'em.
Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization
Sheldon: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze, it gets a food pellet.
Amy: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
Sheldon: And its last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.
Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation
Sheldon: I'm glad to see you made it safely. How's your hotel?
Amy: It's not the best Best Western I've been to, but I'd say it's the third best Best Western I've been to.
Sheldon: I know how you feel. The Best Buy by my house is only the third best Best Buy.
They have the best buys, but having the best buys isn't the only thing that makes a Best Buy the best Best Buy.
Amy: What makes a best Best Buy the best Best Buy?
Sheldon: Mm, that's a great question. I like when they're next to a Chipotle.
Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization
Penny: Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?
Sheldon: I'm not going. Would you like to know why?
Penny: You're sad about not getting any thing done last night, so you're gonna sit around and pout about it.
Sheldon: Boy, I'm not nearly as mysterious as I think I am.
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