Sheldon: Bring out the Red Bull, it's time to rock Mario old school!

Howard: So Sheldon, how's it feel to be beaten up by a girl?
Sheldon: It's not the first time. I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.

Leonard: Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?
Sheldon: Well, it's very simple. In our ragtag of scientists with nothing to lose, I'm the smart one, Wolowitz is the funny one, and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner who struggles to understand our ways and fails, and that leaves you, by default, as the muscle.
Leonard: One more floor, and I'd be the pulled muscle.

Leonard: Okay fine, I'm-I'm a horrible human being. I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.
Sheldon: You're far too short to be Darth Vader. At best you might be a turncoat Ewok.

Sheldon: Oh boy.
Penny: What now?
Sheldon: Well, while there's some value to taking multivitamins, the human body can only absorb so much. What you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine.
Penny: Well, maybe that's what I was going for.
Sheldon: Well, then you would want some manganese.

Sheldon: Whoever's her partner will be hamstrung by her lack of experience, not to mention-
Penny: Ha-ha! There goes your head again.
Sheldon: Okay, it's not good sportsmanship to shoot somebody who's just re-spawned. You need to give them a chance to-
Now, come on!

Sheldon: My equations, someone's tampered with my equations.
Leonard: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Of course I'm sure. Look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics. The sign's been changed.
Leonard: Oh, yeah. But doesn't that fix the problem you've been having?
Sheldon: Are you insane? Are you out of your mind? (looking at board) Are you--? Hey, look, that fixes the problem I've been having.

Sheldon: Settle down there, fake Wolowitz. No one likes a kiss-up.

Sheldon: You're the milk thief! Leonard said I was crazy but I knew that carton felt lighter.

Sheldon: A cuba libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge in it.
Penny: Then swim to cuba.
Sheldon: Bartenders are supposed to have people skills.

Penny: Can we go talk in the living room?
Sheldon: I'm not wearing pajama bottoms.
Penny: Why not?
Sheldon: I spilled grape juice.
Penny: Well, wear different pajamas.
Sheldon: I can't wear different pajamas. These are my Monday pajamas.

Sheldon: Today, I went from being Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to... You know, that other guy.
Howard: Antonio Salieri?
Sheldon: Oh God, now even you're smarter than me.

Sheldon: What rat have you recruited to the SS sinking ship?
Leslie: Hello Sheldon.
Sheldon: Leslie Winkle.
Leslie: Yeah Leslie Winkle. The answer to the question, who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?
Sheldon: Yes well I am polymerised tree saps and you are an inorganic adhesive so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Leslie: Oh, ouch.

Sheldon: Mom was right, hell is real.

Sheldon: Trouble is my middle name Leonard. Actually it's Lee but I prefer Trouble.
Wil Wheaton: Oh, look who they let in.
Sheldon: Don't worry Wil Wheaton, I was just leaving. *Holds up the movie can and runs off*