Sheldon: If there is ever a church of Sheldon, it started here.

Penny:I think we can make it.
Leonard: Make what?
Penny: Make it as friends.
Leonard:Can we be friends that are having sex?
Penny: What?
Leonard: Don't worry I was just goofin' around.
*Leonard and Penny got out of Sheldon's room*
Sheldon: *dreaming* Not Goofy, no!

Sheldon: Is the sex starting now?
Leonard: I'm having a panic attack.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. Well then, calm down!

Sheldon: So, if a photon is directed through a plane with two slits in it and either is observed, it will not go through both. If it's unobserved, it will. However, if it's observed after it left the plane, before it hits it's target, it will not have gone through both slits.
Leonard: Agreed! What's Your Point?
Sheldon: There's no point, I just think it's a good idea for a T-shirt!

Leonard: Most people don't sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but I think we've both found that helpful at times.

Sheldon: Oh, and one more thing, it's on bitch.

Howard: Why did you bring that?
Sheldon: No weapon strikes more fear into a man's heart than a Klingon bat'leth.

Leonard:You called the police because someone hacked your "World of Warcraft" account?
Sheldon:What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern Kingdoms, has been picked clean like a carcass is the desert sun. Plus the FBI hung up on me.

Spock Doll: What is the purpose of a toy?
Sheldon: To be played with.
Spock Doll: Therefore to not play with it would be...?
Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.

Leonard: I know what the anthropic principle is.
Sheldon: Of course. I just explained it to you. Now, where do you stand on it?
Leonard: Where do you stand on it?
Sheldon: Strongly pro.
Leonard: Then I believe that God created the world in six days and on the seventh he made you to annoy me.

Penny: Once again, unbelievable.
Sheldon: Yeah, once again, I know.

Stuart: My carpal tunnel is acting up.
Sheldon: Play through the pain.

Sheldon: More like Little House of the Prepostorous.

Amy: It's actually steamier than it looks. Sheldon's looking up the phallic symbolism of root vegetables in renaissance paintings.
Sheldon: Oh no, I got bored of that. I'm just browsing cuticle scissors on Amazon.

Sheldon: This is the magic marker I was using when I made the discovery.
Amy: I don't think the Smithsonian is gonna want your marker.
Sheldon: And that's why you're not on my list for the tree fort.