Penny: OK, I have a problem!
Sheldon: It's called carpal tunnel syndrome, and quite frankly, you deserve it.

Sheldon: I'm fine. Although I'm no longer master of my own bladder.

Penny: I'm running really late (to work).
Sheldon: Then I have a simple solution: Go up to the roof, hop over to next building, there's a small gap, don't look if you suffer of vertigo, and use their stairwell.
Penny: You are joking, right?
Sheldon: Oh, I never joke when it comes to vertigo.

Sheldon: At one point Raj put on reggae music and his sister took off her shoes. It was like the last days of Caligula.

Sheldon: Will you Boozehounds stop that infernal clinking? And the Answer was Elephant.

Sheldon: I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier that we were just looking at at Sears.
Penny: Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff.

Sheldon: Why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock.

Sheldon: Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress.

Sheldon: Danger! Danger!

Sheldon: Go Team Leonard!

Rajesh: Oh,snap.
Sheldon: Snap what?

Sheldon: Give us the precious!

Sheldon: You're wrong again. If arrogance were my super power, my name would be Dr. Arroganto.

Sheldon: Why don't you tell them I take tolls at the Golden Gate Bridge? A Rocket Scientist, how humiliating!

Sheldon: No, fig newtons are named after the town in Massachusetts, not the scientist. Hey, don't write that down.