Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 4 of 14

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Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Stuart: Oh, thanks again for letting me use your laptop last night.
Bernadette: No problem.
Stuart: Was just doing my taxes.
Bernadette: Okay.
Stuart: Actually, if I could if I could just check one more-
Bernadette: Already cleared the browser history.
Stuart: You're a good woman.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Penny: You couldn't give us just one weekend?
Stuart: I told him this was a bad idea.

Quote from the episode The Leftover Thermalization

Leonard: Stuart, have you thought about what you'd do if Howard sells the house?
Stuart: And there goes the mood.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Stuart: Huh. What's that? Ooh, Batman flash drive. Pretty cool. Huh, if I erase this, I could probably resell it for, like, ten bucks. Things are finally going my way.

Quote from the episode The Leftover Thermalization

Howard: Certainly a lot more women are reading comic books now.
Stuart: It's true. In the store, I had to put a seat on the toilet.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Howard: How about after this we go see the exotic bird show?
Stuart: Not a good idea. My hair is a coveted nesting material.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Howard: What are you making?
Stuart: Chicken. Birds mess with my hair, I come back hard.

Quote from the episode The Separation Agitation

Howard: What are you doing here?
Stuart: Can't a guy hang out at a college he doesn't go to and stare at a baby that isn't his?

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: I had a falling out with Raj. He said I make fun of him too much and it's wrecked his confidence.
Stuart: Please, confidence is like red blood cells: it's nice if you got some, but you don't need 'em.

Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision

Howard: Hey, tomorrow who wants to paint the nursery?
Raj: I'll do it.
Stuart: Why do you get to do it? I'm the artist.
Raj: Just because you're starving doesn't make you an artist.
Stuart: Just because I look sickly doesn't mean I'm starving.

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Raj: The theme will be that the greatest love a man can have is the love he has with himself.
Stuart: That's good. Or maybe something a little less hand in the pants.

Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Stuart: Uh you know, they might like this. Superman and Wonder Woman, it's kind of romantic.
Raj: Hmm. You know what? Why am I buying them a gift? They have love. Screw them and their happiness. What do you have for someone who's bitter and alone?
Stuart: Literally everything.

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Raj: It's nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine's Day can come here tonight and be together.
Stuart: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. In fact, there's no place I would rather be than here.
Raj: Except on a date with anybody.
Stuart: Literally anybody.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Stuart: I was told this is where to go if I'm mad at Howard.
Penny: May I take your cloak?
Stuart: Thanks. This thing kept getting caught in the chain of my bike.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Stuart: So what happened with you and Howard?
Raj: Says I was talking too much about dating Claire and Emily, and I accused him of being jealous.
Stuart: I'm jealous. Closest I've come to dating two women was that time I dated one woman.

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