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Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 5 of 16

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Quote from the episode The Proposal Proposal

Stuart: Uh you know, they might like this. Superman and Wonder Woman, it's kind of romantic.
Raj: Hmm. You know what? Why am I buying them a gift? They have love. Screw them and their happiness. What do you have for someone who's bitter and alone?
Stuart: Literally everything.

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Raj: It's nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine's Day can come here tonight and be together.
Stuart: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. In fact, there's no place I would rather be than here.
Raj: Except on a date with anybody.
Stuart: Literally anybody.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Stuart: I was told this is where to go if I'm mad at Howard.
Penny: May I take your cloak?
Stuart: Thanks. This thing kept getting caught in the chain of my bike.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Stuart: So what happened with you and Howard?
Raj: Says I was talking too much about dating Claire and Emily, and I accused him of being jealous.
Stuart: I'm jealous. Closest I've come to dating two women was that time I dated one woman.

Quote from the episode The Comic-Con Conundrum

Raj: I can't believe Penny's gonna get to go, and I'm not.
Sheldon: You can always watch the panels online. Oh, boy, we do say that a lot.
Stuart: "Panels." Just wanted to be included.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Raj: All right, it's almost game time. Get it? Game of Thrones, game time?
Stuart: Two women, huh?

Quote from the episode The Conference Valuation

Stuart: Where are the kids?
Howard: I thought they were with you.
Stuart: What? No!
Howard: I'm kidding. They're at daycare.
Stuart: What about me makes you think my heart can handle that joke?

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Stuart: So I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys's. She passed me the Manischewitz, I took one look at this punim, and almost plotzed on the kugel.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Raj and Howard: Indy' whip snapped. Thor's hammer missed. It was Avenger vs archeologist. Indy held his ground. And straightened his fedora. Thor said, "That's a nice look In 1944-a".
Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones. Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones.
Stuart: Play something we can dance to.

Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion

Bernadette: Why are you dressed like that?
Stuart: Oh, uh, Howard thought it'd be funny to tell me it was a costume party.
Bernadette: That wasn't nice.
Stuart: No, but he almost died, so we're cool.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Howard: Stuart, stop driving like an old man. Speed it up a little.
Stuart: I'm not an old man! I just can't see at night.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Penny: Uh, have you read the online reviews for this place?
Stuart: Eh, the Internet's so negative. I try to avoid it.
Penny: All right. Well, Heather H. says, "The owner stared at me the whole time and didn't blink once."
Kelly M. says, "The creepy guy who runs it asked me out, then called himself stupid before I could say no."
Jessica K. says, "I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt. He took it off and gave it to me."
Stuart: See? Negative.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Leonard: Sorry, Stuart.
Stuart: Hey, I'm in a hospital and I'm not the patient. I'm fine.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Leonard: Maybe we could get Batman to actually show up.
Raj: You mean, some guy in a lame suit?
Leonard: Or a real Batman. Hey, Stuart? Didn't you try to get Adam West to do a signing here once?
Stuart: Yeah, but there was kind of a scheduling conflict. He, uh, wanted to know when he'd get paid. And I wouldn't tell him.

Quote from the episode The Celebration Experimentation

Leonard: Can I get his contact info?
Stuart: Sure, uh, but just so you know, he's kind of a diva.
Leonard: He is?
Stuart: Oh, yeah. Won't take the bus. He won't pack his own lunch. Won't let you spend the night on his couch.

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