Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 6 of 11

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Quote from the episode The Commitment Determination

Raj: Hey, you should totally get it. In fact, I'll buy it for you.
Stuart: Sold!
Emily: Raj, you don't have to do that.
Stuart: Too late! No returns!

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Bernadette: And how many guys have you gone out with?
Stuart: Please be less than two.
Amy: Three.
Stuart: Damn it.

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: Hmm. (looking around at the room)
Howard: What?
Stuart: I just have never been in this room while you're awake.

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Stuart: When I was a baby, my mother called me her little possum.
Raj: Are possums cute?
Stuart: Not at all.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Stuart: I don't mean to be rude, Sheldon, but my life is kinda falling apart right now.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Bernadette: Stuart. He's been living with us for a while now. I'm sure he'd love to get us out of his hair.
Stuart: Nope, couldn't be happier.
Bernadette: Well, Sheldon's looking for a -
Stuart: Nope!
Bernadette: He'll think about it.
Stuart: No I won't!

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Stuart: What's up?
Bernadette: Can you show us that dating app?
Sutart: Oh, yeah, sure. This thing has changed my life.
Penny: Wow. So how many girls have you met?
Stuart: Two. I probably don't need to mention there's an entire number between that and zero.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Stuart: Fine, take Wil. See if he brings you clam chowder.

Quote from the episode The Birthday Synchronicity

Bernadette: How could you?!
Howard: We made it this far without knowing, and you ruined it!
Raj: Well, you guys have no idea how hard it is to know something like this and not say it!
Stuart: You told me it was a girl, and I didn't say it.
Bernadette: Raj!
Raj: You were supposed to keep that to yourself.
Stuart: Oh, yeah. I guess it is hard.

Quote from the episode The Recollection Dissipation

Bernadette: Yeah, I mean, with you and my parents, she's gonna be fine.
Stuart: Ah, of course she is.
Bernadette: And that day care is great.
Stuart: It is. I went to check it out, and they are very cautious about letting strange men with no kids peek in the windows.

Quote from the episode The Commitment Determination

*Stuart's phone rings*
Howard: You need to take that?
Stuart: It's just my dad, probably calling to wish me a happy birthday. I'll call him back. You were saying?

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: (watching Howard and Bernadette sleep) I really miss this.

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Bernadette: Raj, when you said you were going to bring a date to watch Penny's thing tonight, I didn't think you meant Stuart.
Howard: Really? I never for a second thought it'd be anything else.

Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation

Leonard: I got them on Amazon.
Stuart: Sure, I get it. Why support a friend when you can support a multinational conglomerate that is crushing the life out of that friend?
Leonard: I know, but when I shop online I can do it on the toilet.
Stuart: Have you seen my store? The whole place is a toilet.

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Stuart: I was thinking of closing early and going home, but let's face it, that's just a slightly smaller lonely room filled with comics.

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