Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 3 of 14

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Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Stuart: Do you guys know any musicians?
Howard: Why?
Stuart: I was thinking it might be cool to have live music here a few nights a week. You know, give this place more of a "staying in business" vibe.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Bernadette: What kind of comics do the guys like?
Stuart: Um, a little bit of everything. Mostly superhero stuff.
Amy: All right, well, who's the best superhero?
Stuart: Shh! You can't ask a question like that in here. Are you trying to start a rumble?

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Raj: What did you put as the one word description of yourself?
Stuart: I put unobjectionable. But now I hear it out loud, it just seems like I'm being cocky.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Stuart: That's right, ladies. For all you know, I'm confident and fun to be around.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Stuart: I haven't seen this many people in my store since that Korean Church bus crashed through my window.

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Penny: Well, so how does it work?
Stuart: Ah, well, it shows me all the single women in a five-mile radius who are using the app. If I like the way they look, I hit thumbs up. If I don't, thumbs down.
Bernadette: Oh, what would make you give a girl a thumbs down?
Stuart: First time it happens I will let you know.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Stuart: And if my heart stops, just let me go.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Howard: If you really care that much, there are apps now that'll let you hire people to do stuff like errands and wait in lines.
Stuart: People are actually waiting in lines as a job? Boy, makes me feel better about my life.
Howard: Some of these guys make over $20 an hour.
Stuart: And now I feel worse again.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Amy: Hold on. He paid you to get out of spending time with me?
Stuart: No, it's not like that. There's a long line he'd rather stand in. So what are we doing? Old Navy, Build-A-Bear? I get paid either way.
Amy: We're not going shopping together.
Stuart: You sure? I'm happy to hold your bag. And Sheldon gave me money for a hotdog on a stick.
Amy: Can you understand why I might be annoyed right now?
Stuart: Look, lady, I just work here.

Quote from the episode The Line Substitution Solution

Sheldon: Stuart, what are you doing here?
Stuart: Sheldon, you are the most inconsiderate person I have ever met in my entire life. Where do you get off sending me to shop with your girlfriend?
Sheldon: I don't understand. You were happy to do this when I hired you. Why are you upset with me now?
Stuart: Oh, I'm not upset with you. But Amy's pretty bent out of shape, so she hired me to let you have it.
Sheldon: Well, I suppose turnabout is fair play.
Stuart: You're darn right it's fair play, you selfish jerk.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Raj: Okay, let's try it again. But this time, pretend the girl you want to meet doesn't want to hurt you.
Stuart: I don't think I can give you that.

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Stuart: Hello. Oh good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. Although you said seven and it's seven. It's fine!

Quote from the episode The Date Night Variable

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Yeah?
Raj: Do you want to hang out tomorrow night, maybe grab a bite to eat or catch a late movie?
Stuart: Yeah, I'd like to, but I'm a little tight on funds.
Raj: No problem. My treat. I'll swing by after work.
Stuart: Okay.
Raj: Okay.
(After Raj leaves)
Stuart: I could do worse.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Raj: Wait, what's Bitcoin?
Sheldon: It's a new online currency that's been developed. Uh, it's just like actual money, except you can't see it, hold it, or spend it on anything.
Stuart: Sounds like the kind of money I'm familiar with.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Hey. Where's Sheldon? Still sick?
Leonard: No, he's fine. We just needed a little break.
Stuart: Yeah, I get that. When I brought him his comics the other day, he said, "Oh, great, Death is literally at my door." He was being a jerk to everyone. Don't take it personally.
Stuart: Oh, I'm on so many antidepressants, I couldn't if I wanted to.

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